I'm in therapy and one of the things that has come up is the fact that I have all these openly jealous female friends in my life. Not ALL of my friends are like this and we're really just talking about a handful of them being this way. But for years and years I've put up with openly spiteful unkind treatment from them. I'm talking really horrendous stuff. In one example I had just had a really painful breakup with a longterm boyfriend. I was crying. My friend looked at me coldly and said: "wow, you don't look anywhere near as pretty without makeup on."
With another friend she will actually refuse to acknowledge anything good that happens to me. I'm not the type to boast but with her if I dared to mention even the tiniest positive thing it would ruin her day. Seriously, if I had major good news like I was getting married or I was having a baby, she would simply refuse to acknowledge it. And yet both these women I've just described actually consider themselves to be my friend and will talk about how much they like me.
After recently starting therapy it's come to light just how wrecked my self-esteem is. My therapist has told me that I'm very "pretty" and that sometimes that alone can make certain people jealous. However due to my low self-worth I did not really believe there was anything good about me and so I could not believe or NOTICE people could be jealous of me. Now it's hit me like a ton of bricks just how much poor treatment I have put up with over the years. I feel like an idiot.
Also why do people who seem to actually hate you continue hanging out with you just to put you down and vent their hate/resentment???