Vile txt back from ex...stunned!

[smileyforest]

Can't believe how stupid I have been!!
Just sent a polite txt to ex because a mutual friend has been trying to get hold of him.....
I had the vilest return txt .....very personal about me and it's degrading....really upset me.....
Why did I do it???
It was an abusive marriage......
I feel really, really stupid!!!!

Just see it as confirmation that the best thing you did was end the relationship and keep well away from him in future. You made the mistake of thinking he was a reasonable human being like you, but he isn't!

Have a [beverage]

or a even!

Don't feel stupid at all, just let it remind you that you are no longer his partner and let it reinforce why you left him in the first place. Just because he says horrible stuff about you does not make it true. It just says so much more about him. Just be glad he is NOT YOURS.

Remind yourself that his horribleness is at a remove now, not looking at you across the pillow anymore. Congratulations!

Let that serve to remind you that you have escaped from that twat.
Block his number and delete. All contact to be email only (if you have DC's) otherwise ignore ignore ignore ignore

I'd be tempted to forward it to the mutual friend to confirm you passed on the message ...

Send him a message: I'm blocking you from my phone. Please send all future messages via email. Note I will report any abusive messages.

Don't get in contact with him again. Just ignore him. If the situation arises again that a mutual acquaintance wants to get in contact with him, just give them his phone number/email.

Or even better, don't bother giving his number/email, just tell them to sort it for themselves.

You want to protect yourself from this man, not be other people's messenger for him.

Thanks for all your kind helpful advise...
I was married to him for 16y....2 boys.......how he can make such cruel disgusting, personal remarks like he did via txt is beyond me.....
True though......makes me feel so glad I'm out of it....just took me a long time and a lot of tears to do it
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks all

How vile to have your courtesy abused.

Hold your head up; you behaved generously and don't deserve this.

Much good advice given here already so I won't repeat it.

Needless to say, refuse to pass on any information to him in future. Just block him out of your life as much as you possibly can - I know you have the children in common, are they old enough to make arrangements with him themselves?

I once went to see an ex after someone told me he had had an accident and been hurt. He was fine when I got there and proceeded to grill me for 90 minutes aout why I left him (when actually he had dumped me three times in the same week, and couldn't understand why I'd had enough after that) - it was really, really uncomfortable and he wouldn't let me leave, though I had my toddler with me.

Have not seen him since and I avoid him at all costs. Some people are just bastards.

Hi Flightty
Yes my boys are old ennough to make their own arrangements...nearly 14y and 16y....what he says momentarily effects my self esteem...it's that crude.....
I agree....some men are bastards...

poor you ((hug))

I'd definitely block his number if this are the type of text you are getting. It's just not worth that plummett you go through, then having to climb out the other side - that's at least a week out of your life, if not longer. For one text. it just isn't worth it.

Try not to let it get to you. Try to see that he is a sick individual and anybody could say some really cutting and nasty things to anyone they have been close to. It's not necessarily true, do you see?