im a green eyed monster but dont want to be !!!!

[mrsmania]

Feeling terrible!!! Advice please
.My good pal of many years comes from a very wealthy family - they have two hoilday homes ,a lovely home ,no need to work etc.She is a lovely lady
.Recently the family got something a really really have dreamed of having for many years a vw camper van and they go off in it all the time including all summer as the Dh doesnt work in the school holidays.Last year my friend was so exited about it and was showing it to me and discussing all the places they will go ,and i tried to feel exited for her i really did but i felt all tearful and had to quickly get hols of myself!! Since then i must admit that i find it almost painful to talk about all their adventures - I really really dont want to be unkind but i find it hard to bear.!!! I do try and think im lucky too to have a job and an ok home etc.It makes me feel so hemmed in and frustrated.I feel so bad to feel like this like im not a nice person- i do try so hard to hide it but im quite an open person and im worried that she will sus that I feel this way !!!!...
.My life is fine but li
mited by lack of money not spirit to do things - im finding i have to supress stuff when im with her and dont want to say i wish i had your van - which i do wish !!!!It not just the van its the not working and the security that gives you choices
.Im not jealous in a nasty way i just feel a bit teary and uncomfortable - any kind advice please - i do care about my friend and i dont want it to get in the way but i find it hard to be an actress and hide my feelings, tho I do so try my best ....

If she's a really good friend why do you feel you need to hide how you feel?

You never know, if she realises you envy her having a camper van, she might give you a lend......

I know what you mean,and i would normally be honest, but in the past some people have been a little funny with her due to being jealous of her privellidge and i suppose i dont want her to think oh here we go ....

Turn your envy into an ambition - to have your very own camper van, or sufficient funds to rent one for a couple of weeks a year.

Start working out how you can make some extra dosh to make your dream come true, and be grateful that your mate hasn't bought a multi-million $ waterside mansion in the Hamptons because that may be a tad more difficult to achieve.

Any chance you can tag along for a couple of days on one of your mate's holidays if you sleep in a tent when they're parked up? You may find the reality is less attractive than the fantasy...

I dont think that i could afford to go in a tent due to ferry costs at the mo but its a good idea.
That also a good idea to try and save for a long time tho and keep my eye on a longer plan.I think that wd be better as renting them is mega buks.
.I wouldnt like a mansion in The Hamptons - It s not a copy my pal thing - its something ive wanted all my adult life....

You've wanted a camper van all your adult life? So why isn't one parked outside your door?

Oh my dream too ....a VW camper van!! Can't afford one though...friend is getting one this Summer...but heyho...'such is life'
Concentrate on other stuff...it isn.t the end of the world ... :)

Camper vans are awful. Take it from me, I lived in one for a while.

The idea is lovely but the reality isn't! Emptying chemical toilets, trying to cook on a horrible gas stove that smells like it's trying to kill you, condensation and leaking ceilings.

And the heat in summer making all the PVC smell too! I mean there's something about it but a tent is better tbf.

OP, you are not missing much and if it's an old VW, you've got the constant threat of the engine going pffft as well.

If your friend realises you have a much harder life than she does, I think she might be being a bit insensitive. I hope you manage to sort it out, anyway...I'm sorry you feel so bad.

You can rent camper vans. How about saving up for a holiday or mini break next year. Just googled and they are 500-800 per week depending on the time of year.
I would also love one.

Why don't you tell you friend how you feel? A friend told me that once, about feeling envy over stuff, and wishing she didn't but that she couldn't help it, & said that when she felt like that she'd drop off the radar a bit, & we are still friends and it is nice she is so honest!-everyone is only human and has these moments and you might end up feeling a lot better about it and having way more fun as friends if it is out in the open? Plus I agree with other posters - save up for a camper van

Yes you can hire them...for long weekends etc.....
Also I agree..being honest with your friend about how you feel may help....
They are expensive...I have a lot of fun in a tent...cheaper..... x

I kwym OP. We'd love a campervan too, being outdoorsy types who are happy to travel. My mate A bought one last year and I was green.
However, there are a lot of things about them that are not so great....like how they eat petrol, need constant maintanance, are cramped as hell, and cost a bomb in insurance etc...not to mention about how difficult it is to find places to stop for the night....even at campsites you get the least attractive bit of the site to park on....the camping fields are always better.

I bought a bell tent last year. I am LOVING the bell tent. It's easy to erect, it's spacious, it's ambient....and I can pitch it anywhere.

Its not jealousy its envy and its ok,if we didnt see things we wanted and feel envious then wed have no ambitin,no desire to 'better' ourselves would we?

Im a bit like the poor relation with my friends (even the single parent ones on benefits (no flat screen tv you see ) but I know they too envy me the things you cant buy ....... its when you dont feel absolutely content in your own life,when you want things better that makes these feelings hard to bear and I think the camper van is the 'straw that broke the camels back' with you.

I agree with others camper vans arent all there cracked up to be,when you go away in them uless you take other vehicles you have to drive them everywhere you need to go in a day (everything has to be packed up all the time) fuel costs are rising ....so make it your ambition ,save to rent one over the summer,maybe your friend will lend you hers?.

Dont feel bad I had an attack of envy over bloomin' bathroom mats the other day .

Hi MrsMania,
This is weird as Im going through a similar thing and was going to start a new thread. My BF will very shortly become extremely wealthy, her young daughter is a very talented singer/song writer and has some really big famous record labels beating at her door to give her a record deal. (Cant say who yet until all finalised). All shortly to be finalised. Anyway it is going to make them very well off which means their hefty tax bill and their 3 mortgages will all be paid off. Ive known BF for over thirty years, we ve had our ups and downs in the past but we are very honest and really close and discuss everything. She has 4 kids and a husband who works freelance, she is a SAHM, and Im a single parent, so we ve always been skint together and helped each other out in dire need. Now this whole thing puts a different perspective on our whole friendship. She is not going to want for anything and I am going to find it very difficult talking to her about financial difficulties without thinking that it looks like Im begging. Already shes talking about going on glamorous expensive holidays for her family that I could never even dream of. Since this whole journey began Ive stood by her whilst they have been finalising the deals, going to the gigs, generally being a supportive friend. BF was talking the other night about how she has lost some friends through jealousy and envy and how she really hopes myself and one other friend would ride this wave with them because she needs us. To be fair she has talked about nothing else, shes been obsessed to the point of not asking how my life is going and anything I say is brought back to her daughter and their life at the moment. (Im hoping this will calm down in time). Whilst I am genuinely pleased for them I am feeling jealous and envy as I am majorly skint at the moment. I ended up saying to BF that this is difficult for her friends too and she must understand that. That the dynamic of the relationship will change because she has never worked and has always been the poor whilst I have worked my **s off just to survive and now in one fell swoop their lives are going to change drastically for the easier whilst mine will stay just the same. It has forced me to do some soul searching because I feel this jealousy and envy will eat away at me. Ive decided to alter my thinking and to feel happiness for them after all the daughter is very talented and to concentrate on what talents my little family have and to concentrate on making our life the best it can be. If anything its an inspiration. And for me the lovely thing is we can do it in anonimity.

nickschick I so agree and think I was trying to demonstrate with my last rambling message. When I look at my life and how Im in such a contented place (DP has proposed, gorgeous DD is just about to do her exams and leave the nest), those riches dont mean a thing.
I have another very well off friend who constantly tells me how well off she is amongst other things, but her husband is constantly having affairs and her teens playing up so I wonder who is the better off ?

Awww its tough trying to be happy for some one when you seem to have no hope to achieve what you would like too and they have with seemingly no effort.

I echo the tent option, give it a look into - camp beds are on offer in Argos (well they were the other day) Dont let your jealousy ruin your friendship, focus on what you can achieve.