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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My cousin

4 replies

The5thFishy · 21/03/2012 14:59

My cousin is 5 years younger than me and lives in France. She is godmother to both my children. I feel like I'm making all the effort to get together and to see her so the children can have some kind of relationship with her. We had a really big argument about 5 years ago about this where we didn't talk for about 6 months and things improved after that.
I've not been hassling her, but just sent an email saying did she want meet up either in France, my house or london( in the middle) sometime. She always goes on about how its too far to come to our house ( though of course its exactly the same distance for us to visit her, and more expensive as there are more of us). She can't be bothered to take any time off to make a long weekend to make the travel easily, yet is happy to do so to go to stuff with her friends.
She replied that she didn't have a free weekend until at least the end of August. I replied not to worry then and that she should let us know when she has some time available.
Should I just throw in the towel and not bother any more? I'm guessing that maybe she's just not that in to me or my kids. I'd feel guilty doing this as it would mean that my kids would miss out on a relationship with her. When we do see her, she is kind, friendly and really good with the kids.

OP posts:
HotDAMNlifeisgood · 21/03/2012 15:09

I'm guessing that maybe she's just not that in to me or my kids.

That's what it sounds like. She certainly doesn't prioritise you.

You may find that once you stop making all the effort, she starts to step up a little: up till now she hasn't had to make any effort, since you would do it all.

WinkyWinkola · 21/03/2012 15:11

Was she pleased when you asked het to be godmother?

peugotgringo · 21/03/2012 15:13

When we do see her, she is kind, friendly and really good with the kids.

She clearly likes you all but it might be that she just puts her life first? I'd stop trying to make arrangements to meet up and just send a her bi monthly/6 monthly update email with pictures?

Then when she realises she might possibly be missing out she'll arrange something herself?

It is sad when you grow apart from people but it does happen and shouldn't always be looked at as a regret?

The5thFishy · 21/03/2012 15:55

She was really pleased to be a godmother. I think you're right and I'm just to have to wait for her to get in contact. I would have given up bothering before now if it wasn't for the kids.

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