Am I being unfair to DH? (a bit trivial)

[HellonHeels]

I enjoy reading and some evenings like to spend a bit of time reading. I've also recently borrowed a box set of the Killing from a friend and have been watching one episode a couple of times a week. The DVD needs concentration because of the subtitles.

DH is not much of a reader nor a TV series watcher. I asked him if he was OK with me watching the DVDs and he said yes and has watched off and on with me. I have been noticing that he frequently interrupts me when I'm watching the DVD or when I'm reading, with things that could wait eg something daft but amusing on facebook, an item in the paper etc. It is getting on my nerves. I've pointed out to him nicely that he is interrupting me a lot but he keeps on doing it. It feels as though he cannot bear for me to have any time in my own head and not attending to him.

Sounds trivial and stupid but it's getting to me. Any thoughts?

Tell him to bugger off when he does it.

Maybe he is just bored, and would like some interaction with you? God forbid. Unless he is constantly pawing at you and trying to grab attention like a toddler, then I honestly don't see that much of a problem. If he didn't speak a word to you all night would you be complaining about that?

If you really can't bare for him to interrupt you then can't you just watch tv/read in your bedroom away from him?

Seems unfair to me. We have a hands up system for conversation while watching telly - my hand goes up, DH presses pause, I say my trivial or un-witty piece, DH reacts politely and interacts with me in a positive fashion, and then presses play. No plot is missed.

If you sit there reading all evening, then you are being rather rude. He is your husband, not a pet or a child, you should be able to have a conversation when you are in a room together.

You've asked him if he minds and he had the opportunity to tell you that yes he does actually, he said he didn't. He might have changed his mind and decided he does actually mind which is fair enough.

However when you've politely pointed out he's annoying you he's still not said yeah but it's a bit annoying now and i'm fed up of it.

So no, you're not being unfair he. BUt i think you should ask the question again to give him the opportunity to say he does now mind.

Maybe he loves you and wants to have a conversation with you?

Minor irritant, yes, but really rather sweet!

Oh dear, I sometimes have the same thing. DP walks in (he works stupid hours) full of the joys of spring after a couple of pints and starts trying to chat to me when I'm in the middle of a programme [grrr] I smile sweetly and tell him to bugger off.

Just have a chat with him again.

If it's something he normally does, and is doing it absent mindedly, then I guess it's ok, although you might insist a bit more so that he tries to control himself.
(Do you have one of those stop image systems?)

If he only does it when you are reading or watching the DVDs, then it seems controlling, and I'd have a serious conversation.

Ex would only really speak to me when I was paying attention to DS, trying to work, or watching a TV programme he didn't like.
Not really surprising he is an ex, is it?

I pause whatever I'm doing and listen to him.

Then I tell him to bugger off

My dp always does this if i'm watching something with subtitles, drives me potty. I just tune him out tbh.

Thanks for all the views. Some have made me :o Lots to think about.

On reflection DH does tend to start chatting mostly only when I'm engrossed in a book or DVD. If he's occupied with something he's keen on he won't say a word all evening. Not in a silent treatment way, just in a busy doing something way.

We do talk over dinner and i don't read or watch DVDs every night so he's not confined to silence all evening every day. I'll talk to him again next time it comes up.