Oh please help again. Ex introducing new girlfriend

[tryingtobecoolandtough]

Oh help.
I'm in bits again. Every time I think I have things sussed the bastard throws something new in.

Some of you know my history. Moved back from US after splitting up there. Poor kids dragged from pillar to post. Am now living in the countryside with them, sharing custody (two nights a week and every other weekend) He is 10 miles away. they go to the local school here. (I've no idea if any of this is relevant, just didn't want to drip feed)

So I got a job (woo) its only for a couple of months, but I'll be working late (til 7) every Friday. He said he was happy to have girls on my weekend, and I can collect from him after work.

Phone call this morning, he is seeing someone (no surprise really) But, 'due to my working hours it will be impossible for the girls not to meet her'.
I said no, its too soon and he has announced "If I am happy, they will be happy"

I want to kill him. What do I say/do? My poor girls are not going to know which way up they are, they've been through so much. He is the most selfish bastard on the planet

Is he one of those "I didn't want to do it, but you gave me no choice!" types? Sounds like my charming ex, 'cept he introduced my girls (3 and 6) to his girlfriend after 4/5 days - 3 weeks after splitting up with his fiance!

It's hard, but I find the smiling and nodding thing works best, pisses them right off when they think you're not bothered

Exactly! Couldn't possibly be a problem with his decisions, its my fault for 'making him' >sigh<

Your ex sounds very charming... oh god :/

I am going to practice smiling and nodding til my head drops off. I just wish my lovely girls weren't in the middle of it.

Hi Trying, I know exactly how you feel. My stbxh showed up to drop the kids off with a gf in the car (I didn't know he had one and when we separated last August we said that we'd wait 6 mths before introducing a new partner). I found out via dripfeed from the kids that night that he'd introduced her to them the previous afternoon and she'd stayed over and then spent the whole day with them. My youngest is 5 and still gets into bed with me/him most nights. I was so shocked and upset to think a woman I didn't know or hadn't even met had been with my child in bed.
Fast forward a month from that awful day and he moved in with her - given up his rented house and got himself on her tenancy agreement. The best bit: he only met her 4 weeks before he introduced our children to her. I'm gobsmacked. And she has 4 dd's - what is she thinking of?! That bit's not my problem though, I'm focussing on steering my kids through this emotional upheaval.
There's a lot of history, he's an emotional abuser and I'm much better off without him but it's heartbreaking to watch my children go through what he's putting them through. He's playing superdad to the gf's kids and being affectionate with them and my dd is very upset.
Anyway, just wanted to show you some support and let you know you're not alone in finding this tough. It's very hard.

OP, I feel bad for you. It cannot be easy

I do agree though that if he is happy, makes your life easier

and the pain will pass, and I think its natural to hate the idea of another woman with your kids

sounds to me like you are grieving still

dont let him know its bugging you, keep engagement to the very very bare minimum

stay strong, and have faith

JoeRich that is shocking, and not fair, and it really is terribly hard. I'm sorry you and your kids are having to deal with that. Apparently the new GF said he should ask me and make sure I am happy. So he asked me and I am not happy and he is going ahead anyway. Doubt she will hear any of my concerns. Can't blame her really. But ffs.

porcamiseria Grieving, I don't know, maybe. Its still all very new. I'm hating watching him treat the girls like 'things' and not like people, with feelings. Favourite phrase is 'ah, well, kids adapt'. Which is carte blanche for him to do whatever he likes with regard to them. Thank you though. I'll do stiff upper lip and stuff