Addiction or taking the piss?

[MetalChaos]

Just had a major fall out with DP.

Same happened a few weeks ago over his gaming and spending in the game habits.
Honestly, I also play the same game as him, but very rarely at the moment because I am studying, and never as bad as he seems to be.
The game involves a monthly fee, and then there are a million different optional extras to buy in game.
I am not bothered with the subscription, it is the fact we have no money and he spends it on the in game extras he doesn't need.
I think he is addicted to doing so.

Two days ago he spent another £14.99 unnecessarily on it, which may not sound a lot but he recently was made redundant and I am a student so we don't have much money.
I have asked him time after time not to do it again and it just doesn't seem to sink in.
And he is now saying he can't remember doing it, and everything I ask him is 'I don't know'.

This is obviously the tip of the iceberg, but I am struggling with whether I am being stupid to keep trying to help him.

This time I feel ripped apart, he agreed earlier in the week to having another baby, and I thought things were going great so was very excited. (Not until next year after my course is finished).
I don't get why the hell he would give me such bloody happiness then do that the day after.
Don't worry, I will not be bringing a baby into this unchanged mess so please don't have a go at me about that.
I just feel like he has dropped me even further this time.

Have been in angry floods of tears all morning.
And we are getting nowhere, now he is asleep as he has been ill the past few days, and I am sitting here wondering what the hell I do.

There are probably a million more things to add but I don't want it to be an essay, but I don't want to drip feed either.

He has said he will leave, then he has said he will go to the doctors.
I don't know what I want to happen.
I just wish he would actually give proper answers and seem like he gave a shit than what he is doing now.

Yep, addiction. Spending money you can't afford, lying and 'forgetting', overreacting when challenged, prioritising it over real life issues - all addicted behaviours.

Tell him he's addicted; ask him strongly to stay away from all online devices for six weeks. Sometimes it just needs a forced re-introduction to the physical world (I speak from experience ). If he can't or won't, I'm afraid you've got your answer.

Sorry, meant to say you're perfectly free to add your million other things!

Not every relationship is worth sacrifice, you know. Spill it out here, it might help you get perspective :)

He is addicted. He is priortising the addiction over you and will continue to do so. He will drag you down with him. You cannot make him seek help unless he himself wants to. Also words are cheap and has likely told you what you want to hear, he has neither left nor approached the docs has he?.

You cannot help someone like this and now you're becoming his enabler. A cold and harsh reappraisal of your whole relationship is needed.

When we had this argument a few weeks ago I said he needed to stop playing it.
His reply was that he would cut down but wouldn't stop completely because it was the only thing he enjoyed or did to relax or something along those lines.
I told him its not about him doing it because I tell him to, that he needs to want to sort himself out =/.

Suppose I will talk to him when he wakes up and see whether we are more important to him than the game, even though I think he has already shown this.

Oh and I don't know if this makes much difference but I forgot to say, I had transferred money into his account to pay for a direct debit and for postage for some items he sold.
This was what he used to pay for it.
SO the direct debit went out but the rest went on the game instead of the postage.

Oh, dear. So he basically took money away from a business obligation (he needed to deliver things he'd already sold) to put in the game. That's bad :(

As he's letting his game overrule his actual life, and says it's the only good/fun/etc thing in his life, he's already chosen it over everything else. Addictions are sneaky and ruthless. You've really got little choice other than pointing out to him that it's stealing his life - and he can kick into touch, but it won't compromise.

Addictive personalities are hard to change (I've got one) and the only healthy, long-term solution is to know your weakness and sit hard on growing obsessions. In the shorter term, though, he could try replacing it with something cheaper & healthier, like running.

I'm really sorry for you. It's just as bad as your partner having an affair, and as hard to deal with :(

It is an addiction and it will only get better if he decides it is a problem. It is working for him fine now, he spends money when he wants, you worry about it and he apologises then does exactly the same thing again. He may need to seek help to stop but not from you I'm afraid.