Sleeping in separate rooms

[jifnotcif]

I have recently taken the reluctant but liberating step of moving out of the bedroom. He snores, leaves dirty cups lying around, smelly socks etc. I now sleep comfortably, peacefully and happily in dd bedroom. It's not my decor, but it's clean and neat.

I would recommend it to anyone - but am wondering if anyone else does the same?

I also like to go to bed earlier than dp and he lies in late. If we are in the same room one of us will inevitably wake the other up.

The sex thing takes care of itself and is actually more spontaneous now with fewer unresolved gropes and more mutual upforitness.

Bucharest is definitely a vampire.

My husband started snoring recently but we got him some of those nose strips and they work a treat.

I know I'm in the minority here, but I'd hate to sleep in a different room to him, so I'm glad we managed to find a way to keep us both happy!

Separate rooms are bliss for both parties. Planning laws should be altered to make houses bigger to accomodate this essential luxury.

Our sex life has suffered a bit because I am a morning person (in that dept) and I do miss waking up next to DH and getting jiggy! It does mean that I don't have to put up with constant pressure to have sex when we go to bed, because we are not sleeping together.

It's funny because having babies and small children around kills the sex life and so does having teenagers around. They never go to bed and are always creeping past your bedroom door to get a drink or something else at all hours. If I do decide to get into bed with DH for a cuddle, DD will have something urgent she needs to talk about. Teenagers in the home =a definite passion killer!!

Bucharest I just made the dog jump cos you made me laugh so loud!

"It does mean that I don't have to put up with constant pressure to have sex when we go to bed, because we are not sleeping together."

I don't have to put up with that either and DH and I love sharing a bed.

I snore pretty badly sometimes - so I am informed! Has anyone or their partner tried any treatments for this? I knew a guy who had the back of his throat lasered to tighten up the tissue at the back of the throat. Does anyone know if this kind of thing is worth doing?

Yay for separate rooms. Only recently realised that I can't go back to sharing with him. But are doing up a house to move into with one master bedroom - and I know its going to be a fight for who gets it :-) I hate going on holiday when I have to share a bed with him - snores horribly, steals duvet, and weighs down his side of the bed so I have to cling on to the side! When I was younger I could share a bed quite happily, but now ...... no way!

doesnt sound like much of a holiday for you ohmygosh!

Exactly omg. You can cope with allsorts of peculiarities when young but after dcs it's time to get real and face the sweaty smelly snoring truth.

I think that couples who do this have to be totally honest about the reasons.

If it is purely practical- one snores, or does shifts etc- fine.

If it is masking a desire not to be intimate, that is different.

My BF and her DH have had separate rooms for about 10 years due to his snroing. But they are not intimate either.

My parents have separate rooms for the same reason and my father implied it was also a way of my mother distancing herself and the snoring was a good excusereason. But who knows?

My DH and I slept apart for about a month recently as he was ill and snored- and it helped us both get a good night's sleep. I found it odd to sleep together again and actually prefer the whole bed to myself. However, I do miss those early morning cuddles ( not sex- cuddles) and think that if you do have separate beds you have to make time to be affectionate in a way that sharing a bed allows more easily.

No problem with this but feel so so sorry for the DCs who have their parents kipping in their rooms. :(

Has any one tried the anti snoring ring??

I'm 8 months pg and have been feeling the need to decamp to the spare room lately. Mainly because I'm up all the time to the loo and feel the need to creep around, and with terrible SPD it's not that easy getting in and out of bed! DH doesn't like the idea, but I've told him if he wakes up and I'm in the other room to not get upset!

I don't think I'd like it full time though, I like a cuddle before drifting off.

I don't think you're odd, just that you might want to sort out your own space at some point as I think that's important.

You know, just to have a bed that's yours and somewhere to gaze at the walls and put your favourite pictures and your own stuff.

Me and DP don't live together, but the nights we do share are very dear to me. I think we both like to have our own space, he never complains about it here but he has digs of his own and goes back there to sleep properly after a night being groped roused woken up on and off by me.

He's lovely to sleep with though, not smelly or noisy or anything. usually

I do think your husband ought to learn to pick up his cups though, and have a shower a bit more. And change his sheets. You shouldn't have to do all that.

I should add, my room is terrible...old tea cups, clothese everywhere, usually a bunch of power tools and drill bits. And I have to keep getting up to go to the children, which disturbs him.

I do wonder if we ought not to have another!

Been in separate beds since the birth of dc2 who I co sleep with. Of course I do have a wriggling toddler in with me, but he is a lot less fidgety and snory than his dad! DH is making 'we should be sharing a bed again noises, and I do miss the pillow talk, but would happily keep to my own bed forever! I like to read at night and he hates it if he's trying to sleep!

As much as I adore her with her when she is awake,The soon to be Mrs Composhat runs the gamut of inconsiderate sleep practices, farts like a donkey, snores, hogs the quilt, takes 4/5ths of the bed, smacks her lips together in her sleep.

It is like sharing the bed with one of Motorhead's road crew.

Oh for my very own bedroom!

We're fortunate enough to have two bedrooms, as MrE snores for England and her Territories. I'm conscious that mine is the grand, marital room with the Bed-For-the-Begetting-of-Heroes in it (bit late now, though):o

I'm conscious that the Snoring Room as it is yclept, should be brought up to standard, with more fab decor. It is also the coolest bedroom, VERY fightable over in the Australian summer. I'm thinking Arabian tent in the style of the Fry's Turkish Delight ads of my youth. Full of eastern promise.

Good sleeps = good relationships.

Another one signing in.
After three years we decided it had to be separate rooms or divorce :(

DH snores, has the window open and 9000000 duvets, goes to bed at 3am, lives in a tip and stores clothes on the floor.
I am opposite.

I co-slept with the DC, we have visiting rights, I get a nightly cuddle and we have been married 24 years. A double bed each is proper bliss.

At first friends were a bit , but after they had heard him snore, they accepted it.

The ONLY downside is that holidays tend to be a bit more expensive as we have to book two rooms in a hotel or a bigger cottage.

It's clear I have been in denial for years in trying to make things better when they just won't. He won't stop dropping his socks on the floor, or stop snoring, however I am on a mattress on the floor which is hardly fair, so another arrangement needs to be made. I'm eyeing up the loft space now but that would be expensive. Might be cheaper to get a chair bed thing though I have seen these, which are tempting...
www.bonbon.co.uk/clei/altea_relax.htm

I seem to recall that Ed Milibean had one of those ops Sanjeev.

As far as I'm aware Justine hasn't publicly commented on its efficacy but, as he continues to incessantly bore for England, I suspect that it will take more than the surgeon's knife or laser to keep him quiet while he's sleeping.

Thank you Izzy. I'll write to Millbank and ask for a progress report