queens camel panda and all the posters, thank you so much, I still can't believe how much support and love is on this thread. Not to sound daft, I swear, but I never thought of the DD as having a disability, she was just a kid with her own ways, just like my brother used to have his imaginary friends. I know she has her difficulties, but maybe I shut myself off from them because I was weak and just loved her like she was my little mate like the boys.
I am so sad now. Things have come to a pretty pass. The mum ended up not going to middle sis's house, even though she called and said she was coming. Then she told her husband when he came home she wanted to go their house in the country (in Wales) and he said ok. Then (I am hearing this from older sis) he went down the pub and called the mum and said, 'we're not going to the house. You have to sort yourself out with the little one'.
I have never said much about the dad. He is a lecturer and a researcher and very seriouis. and thought the kids were shocking as babies. But now that they are bigger, he can spend time with them one one one. He takes the boys out for rambles inthe field and the DD to the pub of a Sunday where she can drink (forbidden) coke and chat up the regulars. But he is the same with them all.
He called his wife and told her what she was like and she said, well, 'you can love these children and then they die and where are you then?' So he called her to the pub, and told her of course the DD is fine (she had problems with her breathing or heart when a baby but she is fine now) and not going to die young. What is she on about.
Turns out (God this is werid) that the mum always said her older sister died before she was born and her parents were always sad. But she lied! it was her baby sister who was two when the mum was nine and in boarding school. She died very quick of meningitis and no one told her until summer holidays after they had moved house to the next village and her nanny who she loved had been fired.
So of course the dad told us all this (email). I didnt't read what the sisters said I just called my mate. And she told me she was at the pub and to meet her there. But when I got there, she wanted to walk. And we walked and walked and walked from 6pm. Then we went to another pub and found we had walked three villages over. My bf picked us up, so now I am home and she is in our bed and we are sat on the couch. And I can't sleep, though I have work tomorrow and he said he won't sleep either.
I dont know what to think now. :(