Have just told DF I don't wanna be with him..I am 10 weeks pregnant...

[caija]

Just as the title says really .... Thought a few weeks back that this was hormones, but I really don't think it is.. I am sooo scared at being on my own. I have 2dc already, dd, nearly 11 and ds, 5 who has severe special needs. My kids will all have different dad's and for that I feel soo guilty. I was 19 when I got preg with my dd, the relationship lasted a year in total as he was cheating, I was then on my own for a year, met ds's dad, we were together seven years and split last August, I had only been with dc3's dad two months when I got engaged and then fell pregnant. N was so in love. At the time. Now I'm soo not ....soo I'm on my own..

What are you asking for, caija? What support do you need? Confirmation that you are entitled to leave any relationship you are no longer satisfied with? (Consider it confirmed). Something to alleviate the guilt you feel towards your children? Well: are you a supportive and loving mother to them? Yes? Then you are doing fine.

By way of background information, here's one of your earlier threads: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1407902-Id-Rather-be-dead-than-have-all-this-stress

Have you managed to mend fences with your parents?

Hotdamn, not sure tbh what I'm asking for here. I'm just worried bout the situation. Scared. Got to break it to my mum and dad later on too. I feel guilt for my dc too :(

Hi izzy, yeh I managed to sort things with my mum and dad, but scared to tell them I'm not with my dp.

You met, fell in love with, got pregnant by and split up with this man in a period of 4 months? Ok not helpful but maybe you can learn from that for next time... Are you going to keep the pregnancy?

It seems that you're going to be in for a few choruses of 'we told you so', and I would imagine that they'll feel somewhat despairing because you have been irresponsible in getting pg by a man you barely know, involving him with your dc, etc etc.

A couple of months ago you claimed he was your 'soulmate'. What's happened to change that? And, more to the point, what is he going to do to support you and his dc?

Yes Erik. That's right. N that isn't helpful. Yes I am keeping the baby

Yes izzy, I know people will say things like ' I told you so' and i am well aware of what has happened. I really came on here looking for support.

It seems that your idea of 'support' is being told what you want to hear, but the support you'll need to cope with an 11yr old, a 5yr old with severe special needs, and a newborn will have to be found in rl.

Your family members may react more favourably to your latest news if you can reassure them that you won't be calling on them for any more help with childcare than they are willing to give.

To this end, I would suggest you that sit down with your newly ex-dp and discuss practical and financial ways in which he can support you until his dc is born and thereafter.

you can also speak to your social worker from children with disabilities team about what kind of extra respute or support there could be for your SN child when baby is born. and for first few months therafter

Yeah izzy, I understand I'm gonna need support in RL and I will be reassuring my mum and dad that I won't be leaning on them any more than normal for child care etc. It is extremely hard with my ds especially and I am worried about how things will be. . But know I can do this. This has been a massive decision for me regarding DF and I never wanted to be in such a position bringing up a baby on my own, but I can't live a lie. Cestlavie, yeh, I will be having a word with children with disabilities team...gonna need a little more help.