Cafcass - help

[CD2012]

Was wondering if anyone had experienced a negative experience with CAFCASS from their first telephone call? My ex is taking me to court for a shared residence application even though he stopped contact himself months ago, he has made her have a dna test and now has the cheek to take me to court! His application is extremely bias and paints me as being uncooperative and he is just the poor dad trying to get contact back with his daughter. There is no mention of the dna tests or the fact he said he didnt want to see her as I won't facilitate all the transport arrangements.
Anyway, the CAFCASS person had already spoken to him before ringing me and it was clear that she agreed with my ex that contact should just go back to how it was. She made comments such as 'well I dont think offering him 3 hours per week is enough do you' (even though I have said given his behaviour I think any re-introduction should be gradual), 'would you describe him as a committed dad before this incident'. When I explained that I wanted any arrangements to be around her social activities especially as she gets older she remarked that contact with parents should always take precedence over any social activities. I was under the impression this is part of the welfare checklist to ensure her physical and social development!!
Needless to say I am now terrified of CAFCASS's involvement if they can be so biased before they have even been asked to make a report.
Does anyone else have any similar experience so early on? x

Sorry to be discouraging, but a friend had problems with CAFCASS. They don't seem to have enough time to get to know the children involved well enough for them to trust that they can say what they want. Friend's abusive ex who has residency seems to have primed the child involved

contact should just go back to how it wa How was it before? How long is it since your dd has seen her father and how old is she?

Hi
It was 1-2 overnight stays plus weekend afternoon. I'm not saying something like this shouldnt be set up again, just gradually, I mean whats to say we go back to all this contact, he spits his dummy out says hes not seeing her again then shes devo'd again? I feel like he's painting me as the vindictive ex and that couldnt be further from the truth. Despite his behaviour over the years I've never once stopped contact ever and just want to protect my daughter. She's 9 x

sorry shes not seen him for 4 months x

When is the Cafcass worker planning to come and see you and dd?

She's not apparently this was just an initial call before the case and my sol said she won't be in court either. My worry is if she becomes involved again after first hearing. It just feels like if that's the thinking now before she's even met us we'll be dragged through months of this for him to get his own way.

Did she not suggest mediation before the court hearing ? Ring her back and suggest this , say you would like to resolve this as quickly as possible for DD's sake . Is your Ex representing himself or going in with a solicitor ?

Say you have no issue with contact going back to it was in the long term , its just you feel that as he has made no contact for four months , you feel it would be better for DD for ex to build his relationship back up with her at a pace that suits DD. Mention the DNA test and how that made DD feel . When you say he has made no contact , has he rung DD , sent a letter at all ? or did he just completely cut contact ?
As your ex has taken you to court , the CAFCASS officer will have heard his side of the story first . Have you seen a copy of the initial application to court ? what grounds did he put to ask for cafcass to be involved in the first place ? are you known to any other angencies . Is ex involved in DD's school life ? parents evening , plays , sports days etc ?

What are the transport issues that you mention in the op

Hi
No she had no suggestions other than trying to convince me to just revert back. She left the call saying right I won't be speaking to u again now so kind of feel like I can't ring her. He's rep himself. That's it I'm happy for a more involved long term agreement but not as it was given it was so problematic. Things like my DD would have stayed overnight, he'd go to work leaving her with his partner and she would then say she couldn't bring her back etc etc. he's rung last month coinciding with his application but nothing before that. I think it's financially motivated which is the saddest thing as soon as the csa payments started I got the court app for shared residence.

On the court application it should mention mediation , has he declined it and if so why? Please do ring her back and request mediation , on one hand it shows you are willing to work with CAFCASS to resolve the issue . Try to be really calm and non defensive , i know it is hard as it is such an emotive issue .
Has DD's school noticed any issues arising from the sudden non contact ? have you ? how does DD feel about returning to the previous contact ? Was she happy with the contact prior to that ?
Does ex not have any transport of his own ? if he is having her on a school night then surely it is responsibility to ensure he can get her to school ?

How old was she when he requested the DNA test ? How long has he been paying maintenance ?

If he is representing himself , then i imagine your solicitor will suggest you do the same .

You have got a copy of the application havent you ?

what was the incident?
what is his "behaviour" other than messing about with arangements etc?
whjat was "problematic"?
why did contact stop?
what does dd want?

what are the practicalities around staying overnight etc?

from outside point of view eg cafcass it looks like just lots of minor irritations - practical stuff which could maybe resolved thru mediation - and he may have given impresion that you stopped contact - it isnt clear why he stpped contact? when was the DNa test? but you can present concrete reasons why contact should now begin slowly .

Just to clarify - can the ex's partner drive? If that's the case it's usual for one parent to do the drop off and one to collect, have you proposed this?
Also 3 hours isn't reasonable contact - she is 9 so could handle more time, what has he requested?

Social activities are not deemed more important than parental time, i.e I wouldn't like it if my ex scheduled activities so that I wasn't able to see my dd. I think most mums/dads would feel like this.

I really don't think the CAFCASS officer was being biased, she just has different expectations of what a resident parent will do to ensure the child sees both parents. I know your dd might not appear to miss her dad at this stage but in a few years it becomes more apparent, she will miss the fact that she has a poor relationship with her dad and will compare it to what her friends have.
This is happening now to my DSS who is a teen, he wants his mum to prioritise him seeing his dad but his mum believes "it's not that important". He is so sad and dc's really do suffer if parents can't agree on contact.