Finally broken free

[Iceaddict]

I have recently woken up and smelt the coffee, my partner and dcs father who is my first love and the only person I've ever really wanted to be with has emotionally and verbally abused me and generally treated me badly for so long. I feel like I've made the right decision to split but it hurts like hell, putting a few things in a bag for him to collect tomorrow actually physically hurts. I know I can't let this go on and it will never ever stop, I have given him so many chances. I need to be strong and try not to crack but it's the most hurt I've ever felt, I once loved him so much and it's gone. When will this start to get better?

Good luck to you and your little family. You have done a very brave thing. X

While it's fresh, make a list of everything you don't like about him, how badly you've been treated and how good it feels to be out of his clutches. Read it daily to stop yourself weakening. Yes, the facebook thing is childish. There is no need to be in contact with his mother ... don't waste time on people that hate you, even if your children like them. There is no need to start weekend visits immediately as that will only give him opportunites to make you miserable. Say you need some space.. Change your mobile phone number so that he can't stalk you by text. Keep your distance for as long as you can and every day you'll feel stronger.

Good plan, I don't put anything on facebook so I don't care who looks at mine and I certainly wont give him the pleasure of a reaction to anything.
I can't say no to weekend as I cant have him calling in whenever he wants he has tried that and I know its for control.
I have said he can ring the kids in the evening and see them every weekend, but he has to come here for now, I want my kids to establish some sort of normality and stick with their normal home routine for a couple of weeks before he takes them for a weekend, plus I don't think I could cope if they were 'taken away' for a whole weekend. He will call me for everything if I don't let him see them and i am determind not to do anything he can slag me off for.
His mums house is complete chaos, everything revolves around what my son wants, there are no boundaries at all and they have chippy for tea and sweets on tap. All to buy their affections I know!