Fed up.

[JazleEd]

me and my boyfriend have been argueing alot, over silly little things, mostly through my pregancy (my horomones and emotions were all over the place) and its still continuing. we've argued and bickered so much that its becoming a routine, and whenever we r beside each other i just feel negitive tension. Like another arguement is about to break, i dont want to be like this anymore, i want it to go back to normal!! I dont wanna break up and i love him so much. Talking about it doesnt help. Any suggestions??

Talking about it is the only solution that could work, I'm afraid.

Can you give us more details? Examples?

I say talking works. But when i do i just get from him 'shut up you idiot, just forget it love'. During the pregnancy i was easily jealous and pissed off and it was always towards him, after the pregnancy it was just over things like job, money, not spending time with another. He would rather spend time on his car, comp, xbox and with his dog than sit down and watch a movie with me. When im down he backs off, fair enough as i do the same.

Im isolated in his parents house. Alone in the day, no adult company. So i rely on his attention, but he gets back from work and just wants to 'chill'. So bickering is like 'why cant you spend time with me? I know your tired' and 'i hate my job, i just want to chill out'

'shut up you idiot'

Do you deserve to be spoken to like that, Jaz? Does anyone?

No but then we've both said worse things to each other (especially me! Which i regret) when angry, thats why i know he doesnt mean it , plus we both always apoligise after.

Is an apology enough?
Or do you actually want the behaviour to cease?

I just want to concentrate on myself first, How to stop a arguement starting? How to calm down when annoyed instead of taking it out on him, to get back to normal.

Also to not get jealous easily

You can't stop an argument starting. You can only stop yourself starting one. If the other party is feeling argumentative, there's really nothing you can do about it.

For your own argument style, you should always be aiming for "assertive": neither passive nor aggressive. Assertiveness is about stating your needs in a way that never attacks the other person. Some very good short guidelines here.

Regarding the jealousy, short of seeing a therapist there is nothing I can recommend.

I want to stress, though, that one person alone cannot fix a relationship. It takes both parties truly wanting the best for each other and for the relationship.

Thankyou

Try to get some adult company during the day so you're not reliant on him when he gets in. Easier said than done, but you've got to start somewhere!

Thankyou