I'm a Sh*t Mom...

[VirtualSlap]

...this week.
Help me, I feel utterly stressed and overwhelmed at the moment.
I have 3 DC 8, 6 & 3.
I work 9 -3.
I just don't know what's wrong. The children are really doing my head in, though they are not doing anything particularly bad.
8 year old is a brain and wants tech support, want's to test me with math questions or go through 101 facts.
6 year old has a volertile temper when hungrey or tired,the first hour home from school is full of intermitant crying or over dramatic upset at knocks or falls
3 year old, misses me and wants me, 'Carry me, carry me' or constant role play.
The first two hours home consist of drying tears, cooking, toileting, fixing, cooking, referring, eating, clearing up, discipline.
When I finally sit down approx 6pm everyone wants to 'do' something with me, totally understandable but it can over bearing.
I keep gritty my teeth at the kids to stop myself from saying something really horrid.
Just as bed time approaches and freedom is in sight, DH comes home and he wants attention too, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
Argh!!!!!!!
Last night I took the kids cycling at 6pm, bought them back in the dark, I just had to get out, I felt I was gonna loose the plot.
After 10 mins of being out, we were laughing, teasing, playing it was great and reminded me this is how it is supposed to be.
What can I do to turn this downer around, I don't like myself at the moment.

You are not a shit mum

Clearly, outdoor exercise worked well. Could you replace some of your usual evening mayhem routine by regular cycle rides/walks?

And there is plenty to like about you.

You are not shit!

That work / domestic pattern sounds hard work. It might actually be easier on you to work til later and DH to work more flexibly some days or get help with afternoon childcare. If you can't, cut corners, eg with cooking.

Sounds like your DH needs to do more. Does he do his fair share of domestic work and childcare, or just pester you for sex?!

When I was a teenager I was a part-time mother's help with DC of similar ages, I just helped entertain DC, or cooked for them, she could spend time with the DC, have a quick shower, whatever.just a couple of hours a few times a week. Nice earner for me, but relatively cheap for her, and probably helped.

Absolutely! Taking your children out for a cycle after a day working; you sound like a great mum to me!

My children are a bit older now but this seems really familiar especially your six year old. Often year 1/2s? need to let off steam as they have been so good concentrating, sitting still and just getting on with others at school. Do they have a snack when you pick them up from school (actually in the playground?) this might help with the hungry bit. Could you all sit down together on sofa for 20 mins after school, cup of tea etc. as a bit of cuddle time, a little rest and talk about what you'd all like to do?

Also have you tried education city (I know its a computer thing!) for your eight year old, it is subscription but I think you can have a free trial - lots of fun maths games and certificates to print out. Best of luck.

You are talking rubbish. Now go to your room and don't get out until you apologise to yourself. :D

Getting out is great. I love doing it when things at home are too stressful. Maybe you should do that more often?

Or start joint activities where you can all relax and have fun?

And get OH tired in the evening too.

Christ, if being feeling tetchy and put upon because four endlessly needy other human beings are totally dependant on you for all their physical and emotional well being makes you a shit mum, then line me up for the 'shit mum of the year' awards. Poor you. I'd be off-the-scale irritable if I had to do what you do for even one day. If you get to 9pm each day and haven't throttled them, the I say you need an award!

Thanks ladies, you're funny.
You know, I think I will try just sitting down when we come in with a brew, I tend to head straight to the kitchen as I know a dinner quells the beasts.
I do give them snacks as soon as I pick them up, but they could honestly do with a dinner on the tarmac playground, especially my 6 year old.

What about a bowl of cereal or sandwiches when you get home, the oldest 2 can do that easily themselves whilst you sort out yourself with a cup of tea and then have a bit of chill out time.

Also...cook once feed twice...takes the same amount of time (nearly) to make double portions and freeze/fridge one so you only cook half the days. Sklow cookers were also inspired by God to enable busy parents to survive ( but only if you are a morning sort of person )

you sound like a fab mum...do you want to swap little horrors...I'm sure mine would prefer you!!!!!

slow obviously...don't know what sklow cookers are?

Yes feed them when you collect them and when they get in - or as someone said let them help themselves to something. DD(20), slim as a bluebell, is a horror when she gets in after work till she gets something to eat inside her, and has always been like this. She often didn't realise she was hungry, also they can be thirsty and not realise.

Ach- if you are a shit mum then so am I!

I have 3 about ages with yours (8,6 and 4)

8yo is complaining she can't see the blackboard- needs eyes tested, will need to try and fit it in somewhere

6yo is having "issues" with her friends and bedwetting- chasing her around house tonight trying to get her to pee in a jug for her enuresis appt next week- no joy. I am crap

4yo had to be picked up from nursery with a temperature, so I had to dash out of work (15 mins later!) Nursery tried to contact DH (off today) and dad (also at home), but no answer, so had to be me, and I couldn't just drop everything (bad mother, again)

Come home 6.30pm, want to speak to them for about 5mins then I want to open wine All squabbling, wanting to ask me for things/ letters from school/ she said/ he did- aaargh!

And I can't get near the computer any time they are awake as they have commandeered that. AND the TV.

I've given up. And opened wine. At least you are trying....