Do you ever say to your partner explicitly 'That's a nobbish thing to say?'

[joanofarchitrave]

My dh said something that I thought made him sound about twelve today. I tend just to not respond very much when he says things like this, rather than engage with it. I think that this is not a good idea as he dislikes being ignored, like most people. Not sure if I can change how I react.

He'd entered a writing competition, the judge was female, and out of four prize winners and four runners up, 7 were female. He clearly regards the judging as sexist and said 'Well, that was worth going in for' in a childish way.

I can't really say 'No it wasn't sexist', because in fact it might have been - how can I know? I do know that he sounds like a tit complaining that he hasn't won a prize in a competition.

Yes of course I say 'I disagree with you'.... which is a little less insulting than 'that's a nobbish thing to say'. :) Just because you're married to someone, doesn't mean you have to agree with everything they say or feel you have to keep quiet (to keep the peace?). IME that's the way to build the kind of resentment that one day has you burying them under the metaphorical patio. Having your own opinion is vital.

In the example of the writing competition his opinion is that the judging was sexist and you're perfectly entitled to the opinion that it wasn't and that the women who entered simply did a better job. As every good exam question says... 'discuss'.

i wouldnt even say anything. Just let him believe it was rigged and he should have won it etc.

Tell him to write under a female name next time... plenty of other authors do that very successfully.

Not sure if I would in your situation but DH did point out the other day that I pretty much tell him to stop being a twat daily. Maybe I need to work on my people skills.

Do you ever say to your partner explicitly 'That's a nobbish thing to say?'

I did, but since he would turn on me and make it all my fault I soon learned to stop doing that.

I'm free now.

All the time. I'm the wordy one, he's the head-burying one who occasionally pops up to say something. Instead of engaging in conversation with him I generally tell him he's talking tripe.

He generally is you see.

I concede that I may be a wee bit strident and opinionated.

He makes up for it in other ways.