Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

not the one for me...arrrgggghhhh!

6 replies

poppadoodle · 14/03/2012 23:26

The title explains most of it but its quite complex in that i have a lot of issues going on I'm not living with my partner yet am not sure i totally love him we have ok sex life i would like better but with way things are i accept it we have one child together he has 1 previous I feel a lot of pressure to make this work I think if situation wasn't so harsh as in if we realisticaly could hope to buy our own home instead of both of us struggling so much and getting nowhere it would look like we were aiming for something and i'd feel we were getting somewhere. I dont mean to sound materialiistic, I'm not this is what has got me into this situation in my 30's suddenly realising I have nothing am going nowhere and neither is he, but also lack of passion oh my god i long for passion again! but then with a baby i supposse who doesn't?? if i left my partner would i ever find someone who'd take me on with two kids and then show me passion? its all my fault isn't it i chose wrong and now i need to make the best of it, try and compromise with hubby. Not sure what my question is but i know I'm not happy, but i was single (not single exactly but dated lots of less suitable blokes) for a time so dont want that. well then again i look back it was my most depressed time AND it was happiest time when i didn't feel like a sad lonely single mum and knew i was desirable HOT attractive men took me on and loved my son coz he was part of me, but sometimes i forget the long periods of lonliness that made me feel so rubbish and the wine that cheered me up!
Not sure i can go back there he gives me stability but not total happiness. i genuinly feel if we split it could go either way i could find true happiness in a time but knowing me i could go down and lose it all...at the expense of my kids.

OP posts:
tallwivglasses · 14/03/2012 23:32

Oh poppa Sad

Have you talked to dh about how you feel? Do you have shared goals, dreams for the future? Do you think you could get the passion back with him? If so, what would it take?

Does finding true happiness have to include having a man in your life?

Sorry so many questions.

poppadoodle · 14/03/2012 23:46

Hi tallwivglasses! yes we talk off and on living together would help with it, part of me stil fears it going wrong because if we split now my kids wouldn't know much difference...a lot of our problems would be solved we should maybe try and we do want to its hard though i wont go into why but we have tried and for one reason or another cant.
Yes for me true happiness is man and woman passionate happy! I want that i see them god damn it! I was single all through my sons early years and they were there! in my face everywhere i went, ok maybe not so much but to me it felt it they were couples with kids together,HAPPY! i want that! I know its possible and i believe its better, i had it growing up and through my own fuck ups my children do not....or may not....so hard knowing what to do...?

OP posts:
tallwivglasses · 15/03/2012 00:34

Hmm. A list of pros and cons needed here I think. It sounds like he's not putting in much effort.

solidgoldbrass · 15/03/2012 00:56

Happiness does not come from a couple-relationship. A good couple-relationship is a nice thing to have, but it will not fix you if you are miserable, and a bad one will make your life much, much worse. It's miserable to be clinging on to a relationship with someone who really can't be arsed to put any effort in and doesn't care whether his cock is sucked and his dinner cooked by you or by someone else; it's awful to be in a relationship with an abuser, which might not be someone who kicks you down the stairs but someone who treats you with contempt, ignores you, constantly criticizes you etc.
There are worse things than being single, worse things than being a single parent. Being in a bad relationship is very much one of those worse things.

LemonTurd · 15/03/2012 01:01

True happiness has to come from within. You will never find it from another person. Perhaps a period of being single could be a positive thing?

mojitomania · 15/03/2012 12:16

You do seem somewhat muddled OP. A bit of time apart could help. You also seem to be romanticing relationships.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread