The title explains most of it but its quite complex in that i have a lot of issues going on I'm not living with my partner yet am not sure i totally love him we have ok sex life i would like better but with way things are i accept it we have one child together he has 1 previous I feel a lot of pressure to make this work I think if situation wasn't so harsh as in if we realisticaly could hope to buy our own home instead of both of us struggling so much and getting nowhere it would look like we were aiming for something and i'd feel we were getting somewhere. I dont mean to sound materialiistic, I'm not this is what has got me into this situation in my 30's suddenly realising I have nothing am going nowhere and neither is he, but also lack of passion oh my god i long for passion again! but then with a baby i supposse who doesn't?? if i left my partner would i ever find someone who'd take me on with two kids and then show me passion? its all my fault isn't it i chose wrong and now i need to make the best of it, try and compromise with hubby. Not sure what my question is but i know I'm not happy, but i was single (not single exactly but dated lots of less suitable blokes) for a time so dont want that. well then again i look back it was my most depressed time AND it was happiest time when i didn't feel like a sad lonely single mum and knew i was desirable HOT attractive men took me on and loved my son coz he was part of me, but sometimes i forget the long periods of lonliness that made me feel so rubbish and the wine that cheered me up!
Not sure i can go back there he gives me stability but not total happiness. i genuinly feel if we split it could go either way i could find true happiness in a time but knowing me i could go down and lose it all...at the expense of my kids.