For the last 6 yrs my sister has been involved with a man who is mentally, verbally and emotionally abusive. A few years ago they got engaged and she asked me to be her matron of honor. At first I did, then once I saw what was going on, and them splitting up 3 times during a one year span, I said NO, to being her matron of honor. I couldn't. Well, she bought her dress, and all the bridesmaids bought theirs. She asked me to be MC. Once again at first I said ok. Then turned it down when she split up another time. Needless to say they didn't get married and he ended "refunding" all the bridesmaids money.
Every few weeks they split up. She calls me crying and I run to help her. After all, "this is it! I'm leaving!" It never happens. He will text her and verbally abuse her, and ALL of our family. In his bent mind we are all sexually active with each other, and my sister of course sleeps with everyone. My sister lost her license, and then he must of loved it as she no longer could leave his home. They live several hours away from me.
The worst part is my nephew witness' all of this. He is terrible gambler, and does it quite openly, he uses drugs all the time (not in front of my nephew but I am sure at 10 now, he can smell it!!), he doesn't do anything with my sister/nephew. Sure, he will rent hotel rooms, etc. but sit on his computer and gamble, while they swim, etc. He buys them so many nice things, but will quickly turn around and use it all against them.
He is now starting to be more "violent". I have seen him toss her on the floor, and then have her come sit beside me and tell me how afraid she is of him.
My sister also drinks. We all feel she drinks so she can cope with this life.
Recently, she wanted out again. This time moving out of his town, inside of into one of his "other homes". We all ralled around her, and moved her into my dad's house. He's never there anyhow. Rented Uhaul, and had many people helping. She didn't want to pack, so we all did it. Then we helped set up her basement suite. I spent the night as he already showed up 2x.
With in 4 days, she finally enrolled my nephew into his new school and he was quite excited about going. (my 20 yr son lives at my dad's too) My son who already had the upstairs would witness, this man, driving by constantly, and even parking in front, sitting and waiting. He has done this before....
During their relationship the cops have been called 2x. Once by my nephew as they had such a bad fight, he called them! He was only 6 yrs OLD! When the cops arrived my sister, made it out like there was nothing wrong. The 2nd time, he took her cell phone and we had no way to contact her. SO, we called the cops to check on her.
Anyhow. 4 days later, none of us hear from her. She removes herself from facebook, stops answering texts, etc. Then we finally find out, she went BACK. As I speak, her furniture is still at my dads. Her son is back into his old school.
Prior to her leaving, he was finally renovating their home. New floors, cubboards, counters, sinks, tub, etc.etc. New table/chairs, etc. Extensive renovatings. My mom heard from her. Guess he is also buying her a car for she gets her license soon.
I can't do this anymore.
I can't wait, listen and hear all the terrible things that happen. Help her move then expect to sit across the table from him, a few days later!!!!
I am emotionally done. I have no empathy for her. I fear for my nephew. Everyone does.
I know her cycle. Now she will praise all the "good things" he does for them. And anything "bad" she defends... Oh, he doesn't hit me... but I guess tossing her around is okay.
All of her family have been verbally, abused by this man. Yet, she doesn't care. She tries to GUILT us into going to see her...after all she is family!!!
I don't want to. I don't want to be part of this anymore. I don't want to risk my children being part of it. I am tired of being abused by this man.
sigh.