I feel like I have no feelings for DF....preg hormones???

[caija]

Hi everyone, just as the title says really don't know what is going on with me atm. :(
Me n DF haven't been together long and I'm now pregnant with my DC3. Things were great before I got pregnant, this could also be the honeymoon of the relationship too?
The last couple of weeks I have felt like I am making excuses not to see him etc, questioning myself if I fancy him or not, feel like he's nothing
But an added pressure to me I am so scared that these are my real feelings and I'm gonna end up on my own with 3 dc. I've been Gettn early scans as I have had 3mc's before and I haven't let him come to any, I don't feel I can, I like to deal with it on my own, until I know all is ok. I am 8/9 weeks now. Going on scan, 8 weeks, going On last period, 9 weeks. My DF doesn't yet live with me and everytime I
Imagine him doing so, I Panic. I can't even imagine it. He is meant to be coming over at two today, I'm just beside myself with nerves and feeling like I don't want him here.
This is driving me crazy.... I don't know if this is my true feelings or hormones..has anyone felt like this? Or has any advice? I feel physically sick thinking bout the way I'm feeling. :(

Bump... :(

i felt like this with my depression. Felt like i didnt love anyone and was absolutely petrified it was real because i really didnt want to fuck my, the childrens and his lives up. Its a lot better since i went on antidepressants. It can be quite a big thing in depression but people dont like to admit it.

Did u Dinah?? I feel like I don't know my own mind :( I did suffer horrendous PND with both DC and antenatal depression with my dd, nearly 11...I was diagnosed also with severe Obssessive Compulsive Disorder after my Ds, 5.... I just don't know what to do, what to think :( I am on 50mg of Sertraline, which is a small dose...

Sounds like hormones to me.
I was like this with both my pregnancies in the first trimester.
It did pass and i was that I had felt so bad.

i knew it was depression cos i didnt feel much love for the kids either.
We were going to get married this year and everything but i called it off. We're now living apart but the love did come back. Im still depressed so its not all hunkdory, but when im feeling good, i feel completely as loved up as ever, and then if i feel depressed again, i dont feel much for anyone. swings to extremes, but dp is very patient.

Id definitely say it could be a symptom of antenatal depression

Thanks Kaluki it's good to know others have felt like this...it's horrible, Dinah, we are supposed to be marrying next July and I KNOW right now that won't be happening, even though I am sitting here with my engagement ring on....I feel like sometimes I'd rather he just pissed off and left me alone :O and stpped "annoying" the hell outta me...sometimes feel like I hate him....is this normal??? :(

maybe speak to your doctor about changing medication

Yeh dinah, think that's a good idea...did u feel like what I'm feeling??

hard to say, everyone is different, but just dont decide anything yet. Speak to your gp and see if she thinks it might be depression

Yeh I will speak to her...soo scared :(

I also felt like this towards my DH when I was depressed. I don't know whether my feelings were a symptom or a cause of my depression. I do know that when I saw a counsellor about it, he said I showed OCD traits. This happened to me shortly after moving in with DH and I had a lot of anxiety over the change in commitment, basically: is this it? Is this the one? What happens if we make commitments like buying a house/getting married/having children and then it all goes wrong? How can I avoid making a mistake? I had lots of panic attacks and was physically quite ill for a few months.

What counselling showed me was that you can't avoid mistakes 100% - nothing is risk free and not everything can be foreseen. But nothing that can be done, cannot be undone and life would always go on.

It sounds to me like the big change in your commitment level (about to have a child plus imminent moving in together), plus your mental health history, are contributing to these feelings and they may not be your true feelings. I think it is generally recommended not to make big life-changing decisions if one is having a mental health issue, but to wait until the mental health is more stable so that you can see more clearly.

Also just to add, I was terrified of my feelings because at the same time I didn't want the relationship to end. I also tended to prefer coping on my own, because that way I knew nobody else could get hurt.

im actually really glad you wrote this thread. Im sorry youre going through it, but i do find it reassuring when other people have got through the other side, because there really isnt much written about this horrible side effect of depression, when i believe it actually happens a lot but its a bit taboo

It sounds like how I feel to DP, we're expecting DD3. We went for a counselling session as he has said he wants to leave me, but I wonder if it's my weirdness/depression that is driving our potential split. The counsellor said it would do no one any good to continue counselling until I've had the baby, but I should seek help for myself from midwife. I have the perinatal mental health people coming to see me this week.
I've been trying to just get along with life and do things to make me happy e.g. keep busy and get outdoors and not look for reassurance from DP. I don't feel normal towards DP. I feel like it's him who doesn't love me anymore, but I also think that might just be my imagination. We won't deal with our relationship until after the baby comes. In the meantime we're being nice to one another and getting along OK.
How you're feeling may not be "normal", if normal means how the majority of women feel, but that doesn't mean it isn't the hormones driving it and many other women have felt the same. Good luck. Try to take things slowly and perhaps explain to your fiance how he can support you without getting on your nerves e.g. do practical things.