I am jealous

[WorkingClassMum]

My mum left my father and us kids when I was 5. We were brought up by my grandparents and I reestablished a relationship with my mother when I was 18. I am now in my 40's

So, it's never been a typical mother/daughter relationship.

My problem is I am jealous of the relationship betweenmy mother and my 8yo DD. My DD adores my mother, she cries when Nanna goes home or she has to come home from my mum's house. My DD is obviously my mothers favorite, but my mum is good with all her grandhildren (she remarried a man with 5 kids)

I swallow my feelings and I am sure no-one knows (no-one says or even hints of it) but I am eaten by jealousy.

I don't interfer or stop DD seeing mum, I don't bad mouth her. I let DD ring her when she wants to etc, and my mum looks after both kids on school holidays etc.

I suppose I might need professional help, I just want to stop feeling so vile and angry.

Do get some counselling.
But don't beat yourself up, of course you are jealous when you see your mother give someone the mothering you never had. Have you ever had an open and honest conversation with her about what happened?

So its the fact your Mum is being more of a mother to your DD than she ever showed with you?

Its always going to be easier to be a grandparent than a parent- you have that distance and not the stresses of a poor relationship with the father of the child.

You should be pleased you have a relationship with your Mum now and that she loves and is interested in your child- I'm not belittling your feelings but if you look on here there are many posters who's parents pay NO attention to their grandchildren.

maybe chatting to someone about your underlying feelings about your Mum would help