Should distance put me off?

[separated]

Totally early days yet and may amount to nothing...
But I have struck up an online 'friendship' with a man who seems lovely. Because my sister lives within 50 miles of him, when I visit her in 2 weeks I shall go and meet up with him too for coffee.

He could turn out to be just a friend, or someone that I don't want to get to know further, who knows?

But...imagining that there is some sort of connection...

The distance in miles is just under 200. He has small children and is very much rooted where he is. I have two teenagers and would not consider moving anywhere until my youngest leaves school in 5.5 years.

Am I wasting my time even contemplating a relationship over this distance? Has anyone reading this done it successfully?

Thanks in advance.

Are you 100% certain he´s a single dad?

No. I can't say that I'm 100% certain, no.
He says that he is. But, I know full well, that he could say anything. He seems believable, but I know that means nothing too.
He is a designer of bespoke wooden furniture, so I've seen his website and, through that, I know where he lives etc. But, until I meet him, I can't even say with absolute certainty that who he is saying that he is, is him. I'm aware of the risks.

My gut feeling is that this one is genuine though. He has had his children this weekend. They're very little and his wife allowed them to visit him this weekend. He's told me that his parents came to help him out and he's told me about their day. But it's all just words on a screen.

What I do know is that the photos of himself that he has sent match up with the photo of 'him' on his website...

Hi separated, I think you need to decide what you want from a relationship.

200 miles will mean you ate limited to how often you see each other, no popping over for coffee when you've a free evening/afternoon, everything will need meticulous planning. Then you have to decide whether you are happy to wait the 5.5 years to move the relationship forwards, although it's all premature thinking as you haven't met him yet!

Or just FWB option?

Thanks. Yes, it's totally premature...but I need to think right now about what I want, as you have said, so I don't make a huge mistake.
In the cold light of day, getting into a long distance relationship seems ridiculous. But he is based in the part of the country where I have always assumed that I would end up being once I have the freedom to choose.

My partner and I live 170 miles apart and have dated for 3 years. It's had it's up and downs but no more than anyone else. We plan to live together but not just yet.

I like the breaks we have in between our time together, and it's like going on a mini break when I do go

That's good to know. Thank you.

If I had my time again I wouldn't do it.
That said, we both had young children and were rooted in our respective places very much. He also turned out to be very not separated from his wife, and an arsehole. His wife sent me abusive ranting texts to 'warn me off' after we started dating, it was madness. I met him on a dating site and he made it sound like they were on the verge of divorcing, having been living apart for 2 years... In reality she was round his all the time 'to see the kids' staying over half the week, and in her mind at least it was very much not over, because he was a cowardly knob who hadn't explained to her and liked the occasional free grope she offered What a using wanker he was!
Wish I'd just walked away when I saw where he lived. Wasted the best part of 2 years on this bullshit. Anyway...

However, meet him, get the lie of the land, ask awkward questions (because you will regret not doing so). You might not even fancy each other in person, so that would decide it for you.

If you can't move to him for several years and he can't move to you for even longer, I don't see the point, really.

It would seem romantic at first, having wild weekends, but the reality is that for 95% of the time your only contact would be via technology. Meeting him will be expensive and problematic as you will have to co-ordinate meetings when neither of you have the children there. If his ex is a problem then she could easily arrange for him to have the children when she knows you'll be there and insist he doesn't introduce you to them as you're not a serious relationship.

Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear!

Personally, I would really have to be convinced to "date" anyone further than 50 miles, because if I liked them I would face your dilemma OP. 200 miles seems insurmountable, especially when you both have children. Sorry too if not what you want to hear ...