Counselling....worth it or prolonging the inevitable ??

[nutcracker]

Opinions please ??

Message withdrawn

all depends.

imho always worth it with a good therapist ( thedre are lots of rubbish practitioners out there) as can help with a break up if that is inevitable.

I can't decide wether it is worth it or not. Feel like I owe it to everyone to see if it would help, but think it may jus prolong the inevitable.

Also, does it have to be joint counselling ?? I think me and dp both have issues which could be helped seperatly first.

My g.p has said today that he is more than happy to refer me back to counselling.

in your case, i'd go for yourself on your own. he's 48 and has a pattern of emotional abuse. you're 24 and have the rest of your life ahead of you.

go yourself. if you change the relationship inevitably will....

Worth it. It may prolong the inevitable, but it may make the inevitable less bitter. And at least you can look back and know you did everything possible to solve a problem.

(((whispers, actually expat i'm 27 but don't tell everyone )))

I think if we went together I would just get pissed off with him at first, dunno it's hard.

it depends nutty on what you are going to counselling for.
If you have a controlling or emotionally abusive husband then really you shouldn't be counselled together - you should go separately.
If you husband is going under duress then it may not be worth it either, as he may not doing anything more than sit there.
If you have some very specific issues that you think can be improved by a third person sitting in and helping to manage the discussion better - go for it.
I think counselling can help couples open up communication channels, as long as that is what they both want.

Me and DH had counselling a couple of weeks ago with a psychotherapist, we went seperately, it has done us the world of good and has brought us closer, he has told the psych things he,s never told me and vice versa and she told us both what she thought our problem was and how we could work on it, in our case its communication and we are trying really hard.

I would recommend it.

HTH

Go for it- me and dh did counselling seperately (after he had an affair) it made us both deal with the emotions and problems going on in our individual lives and we realised that out relationship was good just needed to cope woth other factors better.
Even if it hadn't worked out I know it gave me the strength to make decisions and move to what I wanted in life.
I feel if you can sort out your individual feelings, are then stronger emotionally, then you can tackle relationship problems together more clearly. Good luck

The counselling is his suggestion. He has suggested it before but I refused.

I think it would definatly have to be seperate counselling at least to start off with.

I will tell dp he can sort his out with his g.p then and i'll get back on to mine.

My brother and his wife have just separated. Just drifted apart and did not communicate together so much.

He has been to a councellor and has apparently talked over a quite a bit. He thinks that he has learnt so much about what went wrong and now beleives that if the both of them had been last year that perhaps they would have sorted it all out.
He now hopes that she will go herself, just in order to clear the air and move on (it was her decision to leave).

AT least they have parted on good terms (she even left the freezer full!!), but it is a shame after 7 years together.

SO, I would suggest that you each go to a councellor, individually and then together.

good luck