If your brother meets a new partner very quickly after leaving his wife, how do you treat the new one?

[BrightnessFalls]

I actually really like her. My mum is upset and disgusted. I dont get on with my brother in many ways but, he brought her to a family do and she seems really nice. I never really new his previous DP and he has a toddler with her. He is not the socialising kind. He has a spring in his step now. I feel for my mum as its brought up memories of my not very nice father and how he treated her for years and she has said she will never except this new partner. Bloody families!!

You treat her with courtesy, of course. Whatever your db's supposed faults, it's not her fault, right?

Your mother is not being reasonable. Be sympathetic to her feelings but don't collude with them. It is not her place to decide she won't accept this woman, purely because of her own unresolved issues around her own relationship.

She said she's hurt because his ex partner is hurt totally understandable. I just think he seems a better person since he met the new girlfriend. My mum has never got over my dad twenty years later.

I'm not being unsympathetic to your mum's feelings, I'm really not, but they're HER feelings. This new woman is not responsible for your mother's past failed relationships, and therefore it wouldn't be fair to take them out on her. It would be doubly unfair for you to join in, out of loyalty to your mum.

There's a lot of pain in your family right now, but you and your mum can choose to add to that pain or try to limit its spread.

Best of luck to you both.

Seems your mum is transferring her bitter/negative feeling on to your brother's ex. Bitterness only every holds someone back from living life.

How does your mum usually get on with her son? As this is also showing how she feels about him. There maybe excellent reasons why he left his partner and your mum is choosing the ex over her son, which is odd.

In your case I would certainly not take sides and be welcoming to the new partner.

I wouldnt dream of taking sides. My brother has never done any wrong in her eyes, its one of those. She has never, ever got over my dad. Its one of those.