Are they really from planet zog?!

[meemo]

We haven't fallen out over this but I just need to rant!
DH talked about going on holiday with his brother and family for a week in the summer. We get on ok but I have reservations as our 3 are quite a bit older now and he has 3 under 5 (which we did once).Decided would be ok if in different "houses". However they say it's too expensive- fair enough-we have to go during school hols no choice (I'm a teacher and kids can't miss school now). Just think they've not yet got their head around the cost of summer hols in school hols (as they've not had to yet)

So DH said if they can't do that during summer how about inviting them here for a week. Again I expressed reservations- selfish reasons really- you see I work with 3-5 year olds (love it) but busmans holiday type thing! He didn't make a thing of it but I could tell he was a bit put out. So I said well I suppose it won't be too bad we can take them out and our older ones will help play with them. Then he says- oh he wouldn't be there during the day as couldn't get time off work!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here's where I get bothered what he really wanted was me to be cook cleaner entertainer for our kids plus his brother and sister in law and their 3 little ones in our house!

As I say we've not fallen out over it but I don't think I'm being too selfish here saying no am I?

Absolutely not! You're not being selfish and I can't believe that he's expecting you to cater to them when he can't be there.

I'd go up the bleeding wall! That's your work ffs! He either takes time off to help or sod his bleeding family and get away on your own! I mean, will you be having a holiday at all this year or will you be looking after more kids during your so-called 'breaks' too? When can you relax?

Cheeky git!! What about your holiday - when would you get a break??

Zog/thoughtless yes. Woman selfish no. Presumably he was at work when you were bringing up your young children and therefore has no idea/has forgotten how much work is involved in entertaining 3 small ones. let alone when your house is no longer "toddler friendly". How much did brother help you with yours when they were young? Quid pro quo and all that.
On the other hand, a holiday (ie not at your house - v large villa?) might mean you could "share" the childcare/evening sitting? Is half term/easter cheaper?
Better still, perhaps the men could go off to butlins for a week with the young children leaving you ladies to go somewhere exotic and educational with the older ones. (bet he won't go for that one....)
Or, compromise on a long weekend in the summer at yours (when he is around... to be reminded what hard work 3 under 5s is?) Followed by a long weekend at theirs when she can entertain?

Presumably he was envisaging getting time off work when you were planning to go away (unless he was going to commute to the office everyday from the beach!) so why can't he now? It might be bearable if you were all in it together (lots of day trips etc)

Seems like he's just trying to placate his brother and not thinking about the extra workload on you.

Tell him in no uncertain terms where to get off.

sounds like my worst nightmare. - his family he should sort it

sounds like my worst nightmare. - his family he should sort it