Potential relationship... Not sure tho?!

[Mentalcowgirl]

Hi all,

I'll try and be concise and to the point and not ramble on!

Basically I'm a SP to my DS of 4yo nearly 5. I've been on my own for 2.5years and been the happiest I've ever been, me and my son have a great relationship and a very close bond. Love him to bits! (his father has no contact whatsoever, nice bloke!)

I've had a few flings but nothing major and my son has never met any of them. Anyway I was on FB and an old friend from college popped up and we got chatting he's recently separated from long term gf and we was just having general chit chat, he wants to meet up I've not seen him for 6-7years and would like to meet him but I think he wants more than I can envisage ever happening. He is a lovely guy always asks after DS when we talk and wants to meet him etc. I know they'd get on but the thing is I'm just not attracted to him! He's lovely, kind, hard working, funny bit I just don't feel physically attracted to him, am I being shallow? Should I just bite the bullet and meet him or should I just say no ta? Confused, much????!!!!

You seem to have had a few "flings" in the past 2.5 years without anguishing over them. Why is this one - not even a relationship yet! - sending you in such a tizzy?

It's just a date. Don't get wound up about it.

Seriously: you haven't even seen the guy in person yet in 6-7 years, and you're already feeling guilty about "just not feeling physically attracted to him"??

NOTHING has happened yet between you two. Nothing but a Facebook exchange. Chill out.

Maybe consider not seeing him at all, if it's been turned into such a monumental thing in your mind, until you can sort out why you're reacting like this so precociously, and get a better grip on your feelings.

I mean all the above in the nicest possible way, btw.

You haven't seen him for 6-7 years?

Maybe he's like a fine wine and has aged well, has invested in a bit of nip/tuck, or has simply changed his aftershave and you find him more desirable.

Either way, you won't know unless you see him but if it's too much hassle don't bother because 'newly separated' usually equates to 'dying to get their leg over again'.

If you're not attracted I can't see it suddenly going "zing". Why not just meet for coffee as friends but make it very clear that this is all it is.

What do you mean by he wants more than you can envisage ever happening ? If hes being a bit over the top , and your not attracted to him id give it a miss .Some Newly seperated people can be a bit full on and desperate .

I'd put a bit of distance between you if you feel he's pushing it. Don't reply/message too quickly or often on FB. I hope he isn't looking at you as 'she's single, she'll be up for it'. If he is, either drop him completely or make it very clear you aren't interested in the slightest. Be blunt if needs be.