Interested in your opinions on this.
DH has been depressed for 4 years, is on medication, seeing pych folk, counsellor, etc. He's facing early retirement / redundancy and is distraught about that. Last year he attempted suicide. Every day is a struggle for him. He's also now got hearing problem since getting an infection before Christmas. He hardly ever sleeps despite sleeping tabs (for many months) and that makes him angry and grumpy (well it would, wouldn't it?). He frequently mentions suicide as "the only way this will end".
I've tried to be as supportive as I can. I've had counselling to help me cope.
This morning, at 06:30, he leapt out of bed in a violent rage, slammed several doors, shouted etc. I was shaking with fear over it - it was so OTT. I then called him on it (I usually bite my tongue but this time I'd had enough) and the essence of the incident was this: I breathed loudly as I turned over (a mini-snore, in effect - I was still asleep) which made him "snap" (his word) because he hadn't slept.
So - I make an involuntary sound that I can't control, and he snaps because he can't control his reactions. I've told him I can't live like like this any more. He raised the possibility of us separating. Seems like a drastic 'solution' to me, but if he thinks he can't change, well, what else is there?
Oh, and happy International Women's Day everybody.