Is there a nice way of saying "grow up FFS!" OR; Am I being unreasonable?

[emkana]

In the last four weeks, my MIL has been diagnosed with cancer, my mother has grown increasingly depressed at the worsening state of my father who has Alzheimer's disease and I've had a worrying 20 week scan which has led to thoughts that I might look at the possibility of having a baby with special needs/an illness.

I feel a bit emotionally exhausted and drained tbh. It doesn't help that dh is away at the moment. Tonight I was looking forward to watching ER and switching off a bit.
A friend of mine called just before ER came on. She has had an on/off relationship with this guy for over 10 years now, and I've been there to discuss it again and again. Tonight she wanted to dissect another telephone conversation she had with him. I talked to her for about 20 mins, basically saying the same things I've said a million times before. Then I asked her if I could call her back tomorrow because I wanted to watch ER. She got all funny and is now upset with me...apparently she could have talked for another hour.
She didn't even ask me how I was, but that's by the by.
Is she right to be upset? Or am I right in thinking that she has some growing up to do? And how can I tell her nicely?

And thank you everybody else too, I'm glad that you understand where I'm coming from and that I'm not being unreasonable WRT my friend.

Phew, was trying very hard not to sound .. well, you know.

Hope you get good news on Monday.

PS the consultant who went through the scan with me started off by saying 'have you got a big head?'!
Was a bit taken aback and blurted out 'you tell me, you are the one looking at it'. (Turns out on the large size of normal, but doesn't stop me getting through doors or anything)!

edam - that's another thing that makes me hopeful, both me and my two dd's have very large heads - I could never wear a nice ladylike hat to a wedding as none will fit, and dd1 who is four has a woolly hat which is meant to be for seven to ten year olds but is actually too small for her!

Do you think we are secretly related? Used to have difficulties with hats but they appear to have increased the sizes recently (like they did with clothes, to take account of us all getting lardy compared with our dear mamas and their 60s figures).

Oooooooh really?

Maybe I'll go and buy a hat someday soon then. Have always secretly envied the ladies at Ascot.
(Even though I suppose their hats would be made to measure anyway, wouldn't they?)

Good night for now, really need to go to bed, look at the time!

As always it's been good to talk to you lovely MN people!

I'm off too. Glad I clicked on this thread though.

Well good morning everyone, woke up still feeling miffed with my friend - I just can't be doing with all this kind of "I won't phone him, he'll have to phone me first" kind of stuff anymore -
I mean for god's sake we're in our thirties, not teenagers!

(Sorry, had to rant there!)

emkana, you are not being unreasonable at all. I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL, your father and your scan It is your friend's turn to offer you some support and a listening ear, and if she can't do that, then perhaps it's time to question the friendship?

Lots of people are ike this emkana. FWIW I think she owes you an apology, I'd just leave it.

If there's something I want to do uninterrupted - and often I use evenings for that - I don't answer the phone. Get voicemail and switch it off next time.

She needs to get a grip, but if she's been w/this loser for 10 years now, that doesn't sound likely.

expat - I only answered the phone because I thought it was dh wanting to say goodnight.
Definitely wish I hadn't bothered!

Get caller ID, em. WELL worth the £££. Then you can get some peace to unwind, which you need right about now.

Or even record a new message stating that you're needing some time to relax, please leave a message.

She sounds like a vampire, this friend. She needs a counsellor. But that would cost her £100/session.

I've been telling her for years and years that this guy is hopeless and that she should forget about him, but he just needs to send her one soppy text and she's all over him again.
She's wasting her life with this guy, and I've seriously had enough of it.

Need to take dd2 out to toddler group now, otherwise she'll take the house apart.

Have e/mailed friend to explain why I didn't feel like talking further last night.

Am a bit as dh actually thought I was being mean to her! Men!

caller display is now FREE with BT

What's the benefit?
BT Privacy at Home** gives you more control over incoming calls. It includes Caller Display??, which could let you see the number of the person that's calling, so you can decide whether to pick up or leave it to your answering service. This package also allows you to register at the same time with the Telephone Preference Service.

here is the link

try again

I am in agreement with everyone here that says you need time for you

Thanks for that RTK. Caller display sounds good, but it means that I have to buy a new phone first.

oke doke