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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Relate... how much?

16 replies

colditz · 30/01/2006 22:15

The crunch has come, we need to go to relate.

how much is each session, and can we go into the room seperately? As we have NO childcare.

OP posts:
Aimsmum · 30/01/2006 22:17

Message withdrawn

Spidermama · 30/01/2006 22:25

Sorry to hear this Colditz and best of luck if you go.

We had about ten sessions at Relate and it helped a lot. We had one good counsellor and one crap one so make sure you respect your counsellor as it makes all the difference.

I remember the first day we both walked, utterly terrified, into the room which had in it three chairs and a box of tissues. (Gulp!)

It was all down hill from there though.

Good luck and all the best.

cathie187 · 30/01/2006 22:38

When i telephoned them i was told it was £40 per session.

Hope that helps

Screwballmuppet · 30/01/2006 22:43

We paid what we could afford at the time and it wasn't £40. I thought that there was policy to pay what you can afford rather than them stipulating a price.
They were fantastic for us, though the first relate centre we went to my dh really didn't like the counsellor so stopped going. We got better for a bit but the problems came back so we went to the next nearest relate centre and they were fantastic!!!

Original poster
colditz · 30/01/2006 22:44

Oh crikey, £40? Really?

That's a lot of money to us. I will try to sort it out myself.

OP posts:
cathie187 · 30/01/2006 22:47

It was about 3 weeks ago when i spoke to them, and we too decided that we wouldnt be able to afford £40 per session even though we really could do with it. Maybe its a area thing though, it could be priced differently in other areas of the country

MadMaz · 30/01/2006 23:19

Would urge you to negotiate a price and somehow find some childcare. Sometimes they will want you to go separately first. You might find that helpful to start with. It is sometimes the only place where you can communicate with each other what you want without fear of hurt/retaliation. The counsellor will mediate so that you can speak to each other in turn. It is very hard. And you need the tissues! It worked for us once but not the second time (several years later and different issues). Sometimes there is a waiting list as well so that would give you time to save up, it depends on the area. If your marriage is worth saving then it will be much much cheaper than divorce (I am not joking). Best of luck colditz. If you have made the decision to go then that is half of the battle.

Spidermama · 30/01/2006 23:20

No no no ... ours was about £30 per session and that was only because we could afford it at the time. There was a sliding scale depending on your income. It's a charity after all.

emmawill · 31/01/2006 00:52

We went to relate in Kent and it was a pound per £1,000 you earnt so if you earn £20,000 a year then its £20. They do normally want you pay a week in advance as well which guess its understandable as you have one constuation with them to make sure your suitable for their help, (they don't normally deal with voilence, drug or alcohol related problems) then it can take a few months to wait for an appointment dealing on whether you can make daytime or evening only.

carla · 31/01/2006 06:28

Message deleted

emmawill · 31/01/2006 09:03

You should make a complaint carla relate is a charitable organisation and therefore is funded so that everybody, including those who can not afford it, can get help. £40 is almost getting into how much you would pay if you went to a private counsellor. Problem is you need the right dramatics with the counsellor you chose if you don't get on with them its not going to work.

FioFio · 31/01/2006 09:06

This reply has been deleted

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Jasmum · 01/02/2006 09:31

we went to our first introductory meeting at relate yesterday, they explained that they ask for £40 as that's what they need to cover their costs but you pay what you can afford. They should have a bursary which will meeet the shortfall. Some people can afford £40 others only make a small donation. You shouldn't let that stop you going, as already said, it is a charity!!

carla · 01/02/2006 09:42

Message deleted

Jasmum · 01/02/2006 10:47

They were great, we've just got to wait for a appointment slot..
Not sure if we're putting of the inevitable and going through the motions to ease the guilt, but I'm giving it a go.

MadMaz · 01/02/2006 23:21

good luck jasmum give it your best shot. Nothing wrong in that. If it works great if it doesn't then at least you have tried. Whatever you choose unless you sort everything out there will always be a niggle of doubt

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