Your feelings after he cheated?

[redvelvetcake]

So it's nearly 5.5 months after I found out he had a one night stand. We're slowly getting back on track with mostly good days but some very bad days.

How did you get that feeling of love back? I used to believe so much in love, compromise and sacrificed many things to make our marriage work. But now I don't feel that love I used to feel, the excitement or the belief in what a marriage is.

HOw do I get that back? How do I get back how I used to feel and not be this jaded person?

Abitwobblynow, are you seriously saying that these "transition times" (IMO, the way that men navigate them tells you what sort of person they are) are a reason to be more forgiving of infidelity ?

I disagree

these "transition times" you talk of are also a stressor for the women they are disrespecting by going off and looking for sex while wifey stays at home trying to manage everyone's "transition"

Well, AF - good fucking point!

I mean, we were having a RIOT in life at the same time, weren't we? Up to our ears in morning sickness/ screaming puking babies/ cleaning apple juice off the floor/ work/ hoovering and washing/ teenagers (please tick off stressor point relevant to you)

but we weren't cheating, were we? Well, I certainly wasn't

I was paraphrasing Subotnik 'what she needs is a good lay' - the ultimate male stress reliever :) f-me.

My DH never told me I found out by snooping . He gave me thrush which has been awful throughout this pregnancy. It was unprotected sex and the issues about that is another kettle of fish.

I sometimes look at him and wonder when will he grow up? When will be own up to his responsibilities? When will he put me first?

I disagree about men doing this during transition times. If we suddenly have to cope with the huge change after having a baby, a change that no one could prepare us for, they could pull their finger out and get on with it. But some of them don't, like my DH. And that's for purely selfish reasons, they want to have their cake and eat it .