is there anything i can do? very concerned.

[mebythesea]

I need some advice regarding a rather delicate subject.
One of my oldest friends was sadly sexually abused as a child by her older brother, from the age of 9-13. She never told anyone and only recently has it been coming up for her. It was full on sex , not just touching. She confronted him about it and he broke down and said he was sorry etc that it was an escape from the other stuff going on in the family home. She seems pretty numb about it all. There was alot of other violence in their house, her dad regularly beat their mum up and dished out sreveer punishments to the children. They were a very middle class family who from the outside appeared 'normal'. Dad a doctor, mum a writer.

Basically ive just found out that the brother has qualified as a school teacher and is working with girls of a similar age as my friend when he abused her. This sickens me. Im right to be deeply concerned about this arent i?
Should i repport him? I have no evidence, other than what my friend has told me. She wont press charges, just wants to forget it and move on with her life. What would you do?

im not at work now for about 3 weeks as im back in training, but, when i get back, i will just ask a more experienced officer what the score is with something like this....and i will pm you.

Pick your moment carefully as she may not thank you for raising the subject if she's not in the right frame of mind to talk about it again.

Should opportunity arise, there would be no harm in 'idly' speculating about how she may feel if her brother were to offend again with another child/young girl but don't press it - just leave the thought hanging, as it were, unless she wants to explore that possibility further with you.

In short, take your cue from her.

I believe that as she has told you it now becomes your problem and it is your duty to speak to professionals who can take over.

absolutely izzy - and i think rape crisis are the best placed people if your friend wants help to deal with this, meby i ve done some seminars involving rape crisis and the psychologist who ran the seminar was fantastic.

Hi

Is this all happening in the UK? If so my advice would to call your local Social Services and ask to speak to the 'allegations against staff child protection officer.' I would explain that your friend isnt ready to talk and isnt prepared to give any type of information but you felt the need to pass this information on.

Yep i agree that i shouldnt just go barging in with bringing it up. I would never be that insensitive, and think that it would be best handled by profgessionals who know hjow to approach these issues.

Sorry for all the typos im on my tinsy phone and kepad is tiny and i got sausage finngers obviously! X

Second contacting the Local Authority

It's what I did with the help of my counsellor when in a very similar position.

Even if your friend will not corroborate what you say, it is still important that the info is passed to the police as if there is additional related information about him that is known already - if other people have raised concerns - what you say can help add to the picture. Even if the police do not have enough evidence to prosecute it can possibly be used as information to support any social services/safeguarding action that might need to be taken for example a MARAC - multi agency risk assessment conference - meeting that might happen in relation to the man. Following the deaths of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman by Ian Huntley the law on information sharing was changed to allow for the sharing of concerns where there is high level concern re possible risk from someone towards children but no prosecution.

Yes, agree with Nun re contacting children's services

Thanks again for you all taking the time to reply. Nun - yes we are in uk. He teaches in next county from me. And my friend lives on other side of country. Not sure of what school called where he works, only know his name. Should i call local ss or one in his county? Thanks

TBH - either - as long as you pass the information on. Good luck and tell us how you get on. Keep supporting your friend - sounds like you are doing a good job.

You're in a horrible position, your friend has suffered and you don't want to let her down by 'interfering'. I would feel like that. But how would you feel if it was your daughter with a teacher who had done that? I have daughters aged 9 and 11 and the thought of it is horrendous.

Please find a way to do something.