DP does not seem to care when DS is poorly or hurts himself??

[blossom123]

In one way I feel a bit stupid writing this but something happened this morning that really got me thinking about another facet of DP behaviour that I don't like. Basically I was getting DS ready for school this morning doing packed lunch etc when I suddenly had a major nose bleed had to rush off to get tissues and asked dp if he could help DS finish off as it was a bad one and could not leave the bathroom, anyway he didn't bother as usual looking after himself routine and being horrible to me. It got me thinking about a recurring theme of DP behaviour. It seems any time DS hurts himself or is poorly, dp does not seem react like a normal person would, i.e shows no concern, makes no allowances, starts making snide comments, acts as if he does not give a shit. I could give loads of examples now I am thinking about it but as an example one that really springs to mind was when DS split his head open on holiday and required stitches, DP just did not react even accused him of over reacting, just walking around really slowly ( sorry I know that sounds bizarre) poor little sod was terrified, loads of blood etc being in strange place. As usual sorted everything out. At the time I asked what his problem was and he just accused me of being hysterical. This is just not normal right? Can anyone shed anyone have any idea why DP does this? Or am I being over sensitive or normalising his weird behaviour?

No it's not normal. Is he or does he act as though he is jealous of DS? Is he almost competitive with him? I have seen this in some men with their sons (even very young) and it's not nice.

But the general lack of empathy is not normal, no.

What do you mean about him being horrible to you as usual? I recognise your name but can't immediately recall previous posts.

He sounds unpleasant to say the least.

Sounds like he's not empathic towards you either. Not normal, not nice.

The example where your poor DS was bleeding and your P deliberately walked slowly (presumably to delay getting medical attention) made me feel a bit sick, actually. What twatish behaviour.

What are his good points? I'm not seeing any at the moment.

is a bit unclear - you had the nose bleed not DS?
so what did he have to do for DS this morning?

that he is "horrible again" sounds ominous...what else does he do?

but overall your dp doesnt sound like a nice person - what are his good points?

Sorry maybe I was not clear in my rambling, cest was me who had the nosebleed. just wanted Dp to make sure DS had his packed lunch sorted cinna I don't he was deliberately trying to delay treatment, it was almost like he did not know how to react. But yes I agree twatish behaviour, I am just trying to get me head around why he does this. But things are not good, just another thing I have started to really think about.

I watched a documentary once about how people react in emergency situations. (It was actually about the Zeebrugge ferry disaster, but I promise I'm not that troll.)

It seems that about 5% of us turn into natural leaders, who can find solutions to intractable problems and lead others to safety. About 90% are able followers, who can implement orders from the natural leaders but can't really initiate for themselves. They can cope with more "mundane" emergencies. And 5% of us turn into incapable liabilities; the best survival tactic is to leave them to their fate before they pull the rest of the group down.

I suppose there's an outside chance that your P is an extreme example of the last type. But given the injury to your DS that you described, it's far more likely that he's an arse. Who in their right mind faffs around when a child is bleeding, FFS?