Support in leaving please.

[broadstablebase]

my dp is completely intolerable at this stage. I am desparate to leave. The difficulties I face in this are as follows:
-I am recovering from a serious viral infection so physically weak

• local authority home in both our names, will not be automatically entitled to housing assistance

-have 4 children -do not live in UK -have no family or close friends in this country

• am in a critical position at work/ college
• I am afraid of his reaction if I ask him to leave

-I have no income but I am going to be free. I cannot go on like this. I have given myself til the end of June to get away. Sorry for the weird bullet points. It's just that I have a tendency to ramble.

Without knowing your country of residence, it's won't be possible to advise you on issues of law, but is there any service comparable to the UK's Women's Aid operating in the country you live in?

yeah we have womens aid... I have been in contact with them before, but they are limited in what they can do for me , due to crappy legislation regards housing. I am going to ring them again in the morning.

1st make sure he can't read this and can't access your account in MN, or find out that you have checked particular websites. Erase browser history or use a computer he can't access.

2nd get legal advice. Most countries have gov or non-gov organizations that can help women in your position.

3rd make sure you and the children are safe, even if that means going into some sort of refuge.

4th sort out your finances and legal documents as much as possible.

It's weird because I have been trying to leave for years. I have had great advice on here in the past but it's like I get distracted from the reality of my shitty life and just when I have the courage I bottle it.

I know it's not easy. :)

I only left when I felt seriously threatened (and DS as well). Then, I was also naive enough to leave a lot of money in joint accounts, and when I felt I had to leave, I literally took DS and my handbag. Oh, and the car.

Luckily I had family close and ex allowed me to go back home the next day to take DS's and my things (I was not so stupid then and also took all documents and paperwork).

My point is, try not to be in the same position. It's better to leave in your own terms than how I did it.

Example being that none of us can get annoyed ie me and the dc. For example if a dc is reprimanded by a teacher dp will get excessively aggressive about it and threaten us that he is going to cause trouble at the school. He never does because I believe he is a coward, but the threat of it is enough to have my stomach in knots, let alone the dcs.

sorry x post... that's it. I have thrown him out/walked out before. but caved in because it wasnt properly organised so I want to do it right.

Unfortunately, cowards pick on the weakest...

I truly believe my ex is a coward too.

We went through that phase when ex was aggressive towards other people, but never really acted on it, until he turned on me.
I remember that feeling of getting stressed just because of his rages, even not about us.

Trust me, life is much better now.

He will ring me at college just to tell me all the things he feels that I have neglected to do . Bear in mind that i leave dcs clothes out for the day , prpare their lunches, schoolbags..even leave their cereal out in the kitchen. Plus i have to ring him to get him out of bed in the morning.