Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

so he's just asked to borrow the family railcard from me....???

23 replies

LiarsWife · 05/03/2012 20:54

So after shagging someone behind my back for most of last year , promising to pay for things and then reneging he has turned round and asked me for my family railcard so he can take DD on a trip and save himself the £30 or whatever it would cost to buy his own!

I can't get over the audacity of the man!!!

I originally felt I should be the better person and just let him have it but then when I think about how he has treated me I'm not so sure!

Would you rise above it and let him borrow the card or would you tell him to take a running jump?

OP posts:
PurplePidjin · 05/03/2012 20:59

I'd temporarily misplace it, then text him shortly after they set off to say "Found it! Still want to borrow it?"

But then I'm evil

Also it would depend if there would be a negative effect for your dd...

feedbackforfree · 05/03/2012 21:01

You're still very hurt - I do remember your thread.

I'm a bit of a soft touch and I would probably let him borrow the card as my child would benefit from the trip and spend time with it's father.

I couldn't advise you what to do though. You have to try and get past this hurt and accept that he isn't going to be very trustworthy or dependable over anything. I found it easier to set my expectations of my ex at very low level.

NotAnOstrich · 05/03/2012 21:06

Hi, I can see it would be tempting to say to him "get lost and buy your own card". But do you think your ex would then use this as an excuse not to take your DD on the trip? If so, I might give him the card to help your DD.

On a practical note, is he named on the railcard? If not, he might not be able to use yours. As far as I know one of two named adults on the card had to be travelling to get the discount. HTH

Original poster
LiarsWife · 05/03/2012 21:08

Feedback They are going on the trip anyway .. he bought the tickets a while ago and declared that he had a railcard to get the price .. If I don't give him it he will need to buy his own railcard

I do feel a bit churlish for not giving it to him but then the last trip we made using the railcard he spent the whole journey with a soppy look on his face while he texted 'Derek' for 4.5 hours!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
LiarsWife · 05/03/2012 21:09

NotanOstrich his name is on the card

Purple I like your style :)

OP posts:
feedbackforfree · 05/03/2012 21:10

Oh! :(

izzyizin · 05/03/2012 21:10

The problem with liars is that they can't be trusted and I suspect that if you are so foolish as to 'lend' him your family railcard, you're unlikely to see it again.

I hope my thumb's down has given you a head's up about talking to him in language he'll understand without compromising your position as the 'better person'.

izzyizin · 05/03/2012 21:11

If his name's on the card, you'll never get it back.

Is he planning to take the ow on this 'family' jaunt?

Original poster
LiarsWife · 05/03/2012 21:15

Hi izzy you are right .. he can't be trusted .. he backed out of things he promised saying 'Promises smomishes - that was just verbal' so he wasn't bothered when he demanded £180 for bills that he promised to pay... and then wants me to save him money by giving him my 2 year railcard!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
LiarsWife · 05/03/2012 21:17

Hi izzy Don't think he will be taking her - he's going to visit his brother's new baby .. as far as I know she still hasn't left her husband yet Grin

OP posts:
boredandrestless · 05/03/2012 21:17

Don't do it. Say you can't find it, or just tell him to fuck off, whichever you think best. Grin

izzyizin · 05/03/2012 21:22

Obviously his ow is not as stupid as he is... Hmm

izzyizin · 05/03/2012 21:24

Just tell him 'family, shamily - go buy your own railcard' Grin

izzyizin · 05/03/2012 21:26

that should, of course, be 'schmamily' Smile

Original poster
LiarsWife · 05/03/2012 21:30

izzy .. love it!!! You've cheered me up no end...

He's still seeing her though .. one of my neighbours saw his car parked outside her flat in the middle of the night when she was going to work .. so either she's booted the hubby out or he was away working...

OP posts:
MajorB · 05/03/2012 22:55

I'd be tempted to say "I'm afraid you're not eligible as it's only for use by family members" to drive home the point that he is no longer part of your family & therefore not entitled to receiving the perks of being in it - but that's just me. Grin

IsLovingAndGiving · 05/03/2012 23:14

I would do what Major said.

Lueji · 05/03/2012 23:39

Like MajorB

Original poster
LiarsWife · 06/03/2012 08:38

I went for the more diplomatic tack - 'Sorry must have put it in a safe place or lost it (looked everywhere). It was definitely in my purse'

It's now back in my purse Wink

He replied thanks for looking he'd go and buy his own today.

OP posts:
janelikesjam · 06/03/2012 09:19

Excellent, Liarswife! Sometimes we can be too kind; its good to have boundaries with people like this ...

AnyFucker · 06/03/2012 10:19

Tell him to go fuck himself

AnyFucker · 06/03/2012 10:20

ah, see you sorted it

well done

why do him a favour ? fuck that

New posts on this thread. Refresh page