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Relationships

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Original poster

I think I'm weird

20 replies

noddyholder · 05/03/2012 10:00

Have been with dp 20+ years. He has a week off from tomorrow out of the blue because of some errors at work with hours last year. I was telling a friend and my mum that I couldn't wait and we were going to do 'holiday' type things each day like cinema,gallery, beach walk and lunches out. Both said I was strange after all these years and a week with their dh's would be their idea of hell

OP posts:

Wrongbow · 05/03/2012 10:14

Aww that's nice! They're just jealous - you're not weird, you're just lucky that you still enjoy each other's company after all that time :)

feedbackforfree · 05/03/2012 10:16

I don't think you're weird at all. I'm envious of you having a long term relationship that is still good for you both. Be thankful for that and enjoy your holiday week!

milkysmum · 05/03/2012 10:16

you are not weird. i think it will be a lovely week for you both

ShatnersBassoon · 05/03/2012 10:17

You're not weird. They're just trying to be funny I think. The holiday industry would be on its knees if most married couples couldn't stand the thought of doing fun things together.

bringbacksideburns · 05/03/2012 10:17

They are the weird ones!

imnotmymum · 05/03/2012 10:19

you are so not wierd!! We have been together 16 years and 4 children and we love it when we get a day together and often meet for lunch even taking a walk on the beach with a picnic people do laugh at us but secretly they wish they were still totally in love like we are [and you are] !! Have a great week !!!

BettyPerske · 05/03/2012 10:23

Noddy, that's lovely. It's how it should be imo. I'm surprised at your friends' comments, I can't imagine staying in a marriage where it felt so uncomfortable to be together

Saying that I've only known dp 6 weeks so despite the fact we're intending to get married one day, I'm not the person to ask!

Enjoy your week.

lidldarling · 05/03/2012 10:28

DP and I are barely ever apart. We have spent long periods of our relationship living abroad, we both work at home and often - we love going out for coffee, taking DS to the seafront, etc. We can quietly let each other get on with stuff and never have to play catch up with what's happening in our life which is a huge luxury.

We are not love's young dream or posting billet-doux under each other's door but we truly enjoy each other's company and I never ever wish he wasn't around in the next room.

We've only be together 5 years but I sincerely hope I'll be nagging him about where he put his bloody pension book one day.

Have a lovely week!

MizzyFrizzie · 05/03/2012 10:39

Have a lovely week!

I've been married for 20+ and would love DH to have an impromptu week off just for us....and yes, the whole week would be just us doing lots of nothing in particular. Enjoy!

Nagoo · 05/03/2012 10:42

that's lovely :)

I like to think that DH and I would do that. We try to have a pub lunch or something if we are alone for a few hours, because it is so rare that we are!

Mumsyblouse · 05/03/2012 10:43

I think they are a bit weird and you are normal! I would love to have a week with my DH having lunch, going out to dinner, going for adventures. Ok, we might argued by Wed, but would have made up by Thurs, and would have a blast. I think that's one thing that keeps people together, when they actually like the person they are with (liking can be harder than loving sometimes).

Original poster

noddyholder · 05/03/2012 11:17

Thanks everyone ! I am so looking forward to it my mums scorn really annoyed me! She has said this sort of thing before and I have laughed it off. She does see a close relationship as some sort of weakness though. My friend did laugh to be fair to her but she did say after 6 years she couldn't spend a week with her dh as she would be bored and irritated. We are def not loves young dream but I just really LIKE him

OP posts:

BeerTricksPott3r · 05/03/2012 11:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

noddyholder · 05/03/2012 11:42

I know. She thinks separate lives is the way to go after children

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Hattytown · 05/03/2012 11:43

I think there's a bizarre and unhelpful culture in this country about long-term relationships. So many men and women seem to have this expectation that they will fall out of love and become companions at best and living separate lives at worst. It's such a powerful culture that couples who are still in love after 20+ years and aren't afraid to show it, are treated as oddities and 'weird'.

We're the same and have been together even longer. We've had similar comments and have built up a handy stock of retorts over the years. Most people are so stunned that they end up mumbling something along the lines of "well, that's great isn't it?" or "lucky you" but one friend actually admitted that he'd got so into the habit of making denigrating jokes about his long marriage, that it had pulled him up short and made him question why he did that, as he was in fact very happy and loved his partner.

MizzyFrizzie · 05/03/2012 11:47

I must admit I've also come across the blank faces with not much to say when I say I actually like spending time with my DH.

FWIW I still clock watch waiting for him to come home each evening...

Original poster

noddyholder · 05/03/2012 11:53

mizzy I think that is great! Once your children grow up and fly the nest its just the 2 of you at the end of the day. People both envy and ridicule us I am not sure why! We are great friends though and can spend hours together just pottering about. Our ds is 17 and thinks its hilarious lots of eye rolling

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MizzyFrizzie · 05/03/2012 12:00

...got teens here too noddy... yup, lots of eye rolling and Dad put her down FGS!

DH and I were plotting what we would do if we won the lottery at the weekend, as you do, our plans included a camper van and just me and him.

Gah, to the ridicule.... you love him, he loves you, life is good...

VikingLady · 05/03/2012 12:06

It sounds like a lovely day! I wouldn't be with dh if he wasn't someone I wanted to spend time with, but that doesn't seem to be the case for a lot of people. I'll never forget being shown someone's wedding photos at work, and he never even mentioned his new wife's name... I was told the spec of the yacht they had the reception on, and what his mum wore, but nothing about the wife!

People of bizarre.

have a fab day!

weegiemum · 05/03/2012 12:08

Not weird at all!

My dh has a day off each week as he also does some nights on call and we love it! We go out for coffee/breakfast/lunch, drive out into the country, more recently he's been coming with me to appointments as I've been ill.

Last night I woke up at 2am and something was on my head. Dh was stroking my hair! He just said "you're so beautiful when you are asleep" and we rolled over till morning. We've been together 22 years, married 17, and I still love and adore him and better than that, he's my best friend!

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