Can she afford to get divorced?

[2012namechange]

I've changed my name because of the sensitivity of this, and also because I'm posting on behalf of a friend. I can mention naice ham, bombers and not wearing linen trousers as evidence of my genuine MN posting status!

Said friend has been in an unhappy marriage for aeons. She has asked to separate/divorce on numerous occasions, but her DH has always refused. He is a control freak, especially in terms of money, and has destroyed her self-esteem making it incredibly hard for her to just leave him.

However, she has just found evidence of an ongoing affair, and this is the proverbial back-breaking straw. She wants to kick him out, but is terrified she'll end up homeless and skint. She is convinced he will hide/spend any assets. He has a well-paid, FT job; she works PT as she cares for adult DD (but doesn't have official carer status). I believe she'd qualify for legal aid, but am unsure how this works - would there be huge upfront costs? And what about after? Could she end up homeless and skint?

Any help very appreciated.

Bombers should be pombears [idiot spell check].

chuckling at the naice ham. You sound like a lovely friend. Sorry nothing useful to add :)

Your friend should book an appointment with a solicitor who specialises in divorce and family law and who offers an free half an hour initial consultation. If she is eligible for legal aid there won't be any upfront costs.

If you're unable to solicit personal recommendations for shit hot lawyers, visit www.womensaid.org to find your friend's nearest branch, give them a call, and ask them to give you a selection of firms from their list of family law solicitors.

It sounds as if you/your friend should also make enquiries as to how she can claim carer's allowance for her dd.

If your friend obtains an Occupation Order she won't need to leave the marital home - but he will Tell her to discuss this possibility with the solicitor.

It sounds as if you/your friend should also make enquiries as to how she can claim carer's allowance for her dd.

this may be better in legal?

Her co-ownership won't cause any problem and it is usual to divide martial assets on divorce - from what you've said, it sounds as if her dd's needs will be taken into account too but it's possible that your friend's position will be strengthened if she becomes dd's official 'carer'.

If your friend has evidence of her h's affair, she can file for divorce on the grounds of his adultery but a solicitor may advise her to simply cite his unreasonable behaviour.

If she is living separately under the marital roof - i.e. not sleeping with or engaging in marital relations with her h - there's no reason why she can't file for divorce while they continue to live in the marital home.

Knowledge is power and I hope that the knowledge she gains from half an hour with a specialist lawyer will empower your friend.

If she goes to direct.gov.uk there is lots of info on there, including a link to the LSC where she can do a quick online check to see if she's eligible for legal aid.

Also, if she rings around solicitors, most will give a free half hour consultation and will also assess her for legal aid.

she can calim carers alowance if she cares for more than 35 hours per week and earns less than a cerian amount - it isnt v much. i would no advise her to give up work as she prob needs a break from caring!
but her status may be recognized by eg SS . sso long as she has evidence of the dd needs etec .

can she afford not to get divorced (emotionally speaking that is_)