Can someone hold my hand....

[LiamsMummyJaz]

.... I think we're splitting up. And I just don't know what to do...

Hey there, things always seem really bad at the beginning, but they do get better, if it helps talk about it as much as you can, try to remember that whilst it feels really bad now, things will be easier in time.

I just don't know what's happening! I'm sitting cuddling my baby in complete shock.. I love him so so much..

Has something happened? are you safe?

Are you OK?

Yes I'm safe thank you. I've been through a bit of a rough patch and I haven't been myself and DP hasn't been all that supportive. But he never has been so I shouldn't really expect it. And I may have been in his face a bit to much recently. But he seems to think that maternity leave it for me sitting on my arse and I really don't! Everywhere is always spotless and tidy. He says he needs a break. But I'm not agreeing. That to me just seems like the beginning of the end...

He's not coming home tonight... I feel numb..

Have you got anyone who could come and be with you - mum, friends?

I feel stupid now.. People are in much worse situations.. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. I thought we were happy. Everyone argues?

dolly it will feel too real if I ring my mum. I want to push it all under carpet..

Yes, everyone argues. And the first few months of a new baby are always tough for any couple, but you seem to think he is pretty serious about having a break?

There's nothing stupid or shameful about how you feel you don't have to apologise, if he's just walked out and said he isn't coming back that's a pretty shitty situation tbh

just tell your mum you have had a bit of a row and that YOU have told HIM to bugger off for the night... ask her to come over...

she is your mum, she will want to know and she would want to be there for your..

How old's your little one?

You say you've not been yourself-is this from PND?

I think you do need some support in RL-have you a friend if you can't phone your mum?

Oh dear, poor you he sounds quite sure that it's what he wants though. Any idea where he is staying tonight?
If you mum would be supportive, I would give her a ring. You are feeling terrible now, if it all blows over then at least you have had some emotional support this evening. If you really are breaking up, then again, at least you have had some emotional support this evening. If you leave it an hour or two, you might feel like it's too late to ring her.

Agree that you should have some support in RL, even if it's just a phone call with someone who cares about you.

Thank you all for replying. My DS is 17 weeks old and he is a little angel and always has been. My tough time started with my grandad passing away 3 weeks ago. We are such a close knit family and it has hit me so hard. I suppose I always thought he'd be there. DP isn't good with emotion. He hardly ever talks about his feelings. So he found it difficult to comfort me.
Then there is also my arthritis. I was diagnosed at 17 and finally at 20 started medication that worked for me and kept me pain free. Then I fell pregnant and had to stop and now I've started again they just aren't working.. I can hardly moved neck or use my hands. Mornings are terrible. DP doesn't ask if I'm ok.. I don't know why he feels so hard done by. I don't. I have my son. He's perfect. I am just in a bit of a bad place at the mo. but if he leaves I don't know what I'd do..

Sorry for whinging x

Have you spoken to your GP about changing your medication? Constant pain is exhausting and if you've got a little one (even if they're an angel) to look after as well you must be shattered.

Gotta say, your DP isn't sounding that shit hot to me - nobody likes dealing with nasty things like grief but y'know that's life when you're in a partnership. Being "bad at emotions" doesn't give him a automatic pass from comforting you I'm afraid.

I think you have every right to 'whinge' but don't be so hard on yourself and no apologies, to MN or your 'D'P.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time right now, do you have any family/friends that you can talk to or who could come over to help out? So hard to look after a little baby even when able to move....!

I know you have a lot of thoughts and emotions swirling around right now, best thing you can do is look after yourself and your DS; if your P wants to be an ass then he will be, you can only change yourself and how you cope, you can't change him, you'll waste lots of energy and emotional resources second guessing why he's doing what he's doing.

In the morning, if you don't have anyone around to help, contact HV and maybe Homestart to get some practical help and support. Do you have a Rheumatology nurse? They are usually available to speak to if you're having problems to think about a different med.

Please, don't apologise for whinging. You have every right to feel sad etc as it is a terrible situation to be in.

Whinge away.

I remember losing my grandad when my youngest was 5wks old and it knocked me for six, especially as he hadn't met my son as I had a CS so couldn't drive over. Try to remember the good times.

Can you get to see your rheumatologist to sort your drugs out?

You aren't whingeing, you are upset. Your partner on the other hand...

If he leaves, you won't have to put up with him putting you down, being verbally abusive and emotionally deficient.

And your son won't have to listen to his mother being disrespected.

I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment but things will get better, if he doesn't come back.

Here is a virtual hand hold.

Sorry I was bathing DS. My DP isn't that bad. He's ace with our baby. I know I'm a nag sometimes. I get a bit OCD about him leaving shoes out but that's me... He knows this. There must be something else.
I am having steroids. Aswell as my other medications. The dr just tells me to take co-codamol. But I don't really like taking painkillers all the time. I normally just carry on regardless and crash when DS is asleep.
Thank you all so so much. I'm going my mums for dinner tomorrow anyway. So I think I might just sort the living room out and try to relax.

He's just text me saying can he come home to talk..

Ok, try and let us know you're ok after.

Talk, and try to listen before putting your side, I hope it works out for you xx

He's not coming back until 11. I've got a horrible feeling it'll just be to tell me that he wants his uniform for work tomorrow. I just can't stop crying..