I'm driving myself mad and just don't know what to do. I split from my husband just over 2 yrs ago. We have 2 children, 7&2. After our separation I didn't meet anyone for a year and then last year I decided to dip my toes into the world of internet dating. There were two 3 month, 'relationships', they were both very similar men, 39 and 41, never married, never had children but both very successful in their careers. Beautiful houses, nice cars, lots of money, but both very selfish as they had never had to put anyone else first. The first one ended as he lived about 100 miles away and I only ever saw him when I didn't have the children, every other weekend, he wanted children and said that I was a bit too old (40), even though he knew that when I met him. I took the break up badly and it took me a few months to get over it, basically until I met the other guy. He was quite up and down and had been engaged twice. Should have rung warning bells then. He broke them both off. He would send me a text saying that he couldn't commit to me and we should have some space which I would accept, then a couple of days later I would get another text saying he'd really like to see me again. This happened 3 times in 3 months We dated for about 3 months. He then eventually told me that he couldn't his head round the fact I had children, he thought he could but if he hadn't after 3 months he didn't think he ever would. He said he loves being with me, and spending time with me but not the children. He said he would probably kick himself for finishing it but he just can't accept my past. Neither man had met my children.
Neither man was right for me, but I am really struggling to accept the rejection, the second guy and I finished 6 weeks ago and I still can't stop thinking about him and the fact that he hasn't contacted me. I haven't contacted him. Why am I so upset and hurt by someone who wasn't right for me anyway? he didn't really make me laugh, the sex was rubbish, he had huge issues with himself and relationships and his work was his life I am angry at myself spending so much time thinking about him when there are so many other things I could be doing. I have other interests and I'm currently buying a house but even while doing these things he is still always there, in the back of my mind.....I almost feel like contacting him to see if tells me he's seeing someone else so I can have closure. I feel like a teenager when I'm actually a 40yr old mother of 2!