Can I ask about your experience of separation?

[Arachnophobic]

I don't really think the back story is relevant but yesterday I decided that me and DP needed to separate. We have two children under 5.

I am quite sure this is the right decision for me, at the moment, but of course it has been extremely difficult.

Last night I felt gutted and crying. Today I feel better until he text me regarding children arrangements about half an hour ago, and again I feel upset. Nothing he said as such but his complete indifference to it all.

The point of my post is to ask about your experiences of separation. Was it permanent? Did you reconcile? And more importantly when did you start to accept the separation and see the positive side to it?

Any answers welcomed - and thank you.

I seperated from my exH in november, cos he was abusive. Its been the best thing i ever done, both me and my little one (21months) are much happier now. It is stressful and hard at first, but it gets better. I put my divorce petition in today and it made me feel a little sad. I had just signed basically 6and a half years of my life away and drawn a line under them. It wasnt always bad, i remember some good times, but the memories have been faded by th bad times. I am happier and better off and moving on with my life. I know some people are going to slaughter me for saying this, but honestly, i done what was right by everyone. Sure it hurt like hell, but i am healing, god damn it i am all but healed!!! Life moves on and I have to, and one day you will as well. Some people say you always love the father/mother of your child(ren), not always is this the case. I dont, but you may always. Its important to do whats right for YOU AND THE KIDS.
Best wishes (((HUGS))))

Very condensed version. XP was emotionally abusive. I left him after a few false starts (at leaving) when DS was 18m. Few months until I moved out - hell. First few months after moving out - very loney and stressful. First year after that - awkward and we didn't get on well. By the 2nd year, we were relating better and had found a new co-parenting relationship. I wouldn't quite call us friend; too much water under the bridge. But we have a very good rapport now which is a relief.

I left him though and it had been bad for ages before I did, so l knew from the outset that I would never go back. However when DS wanted his Dad and he wasn't there, or when DS was round there and I felt lost and like a spare part, it was hard. It gets better. When you each start seeing other people is tricky, and awkward. Having someone else 'mother' my son was odd, and I know he found me dating difficult.