I'm very confused, know it's probably a rebound but cant help it...

[lotsofsex]

I've been involved in a very intense relationship for the last 6 months with a lovely man. He moved things along quickly, which I was more than happy about and we were planning a future together.
Four weeks ago he arrived and ended things, various reasons given, all valid and I understand he couldn't go on seeing me. I know he is protecting me and doesn't want me involved in his problems.
I have been very sad about it all as I truly believed we had a future.
I don't want to say too much more as I don't want to be recognised, people in RL know my situation and I've used a name change from my usual MN name.
Anyway, the weekend after it all happened, my ex bf, a guy I went out with for a year, and am still in touch with, text to say hi, how was I etc. Nothing unusual at all. I told him what had happened and he came round to mine. We ended up sleeping together.
Over this last 4 weeks I've seen him on 6 more occasions, we haven't said where this might be going, I thought it was just sex and company.
Problem is I'm feeling like I need to see more and more of him again. I don't know if this is because I'm lonely, or sad about my relationship breakup, need comfort, or if I really do want to resume things with him.
I asked him if he wanted to go out on Saturday night and he turned me down, I know there's no one else, but it's hurt me, I feel rejected yet again.
We broke up because he said he felt he couldn't give me what I needed. I'd never asked him for anything, not a long term commitment or anything. He is a busy man, has his own business and 4 kids, and couldn't give me his time to the extent he thought he should.
I know both these men loved me, no doubt at all. They both ended it for different reasons. I'm now doubting myself again, what is wrong with me, why have I gone for emotionally unavailable men, although I didn't know this to start with, do I give off needy vibes and they run, why am I looking to resurrect an old relationship, is it a rebound or do I really have feelings for him again?
So many questions and no answers, all I know is that I feel very let down and sad yet again.

It sounds like you almost become 'addicted' to people, like an addiction to being in a relationship or looking to them to validate you?
maybe have a little break from dating and start to focus on giving yourself more of what you need so that you feel stronger and less needy towards men?

have you thought about getting some counselling maybe, that might be a starting point. and building up your social life etc so that you have other options.

good luck

Sandy, I have a great social life, this is the first might I've been at home in the evening since Friday last week, I also work full time, albeit for a small family firm, I have also had a lot of counselling since my marriage ended a couple of years ago. My self esteem is good, I am no push over, I am out going, have many friends and a good family.
I do want a relationship though, but not at any cost. Both these men have meant a lot to me. The man I've been seeing again has been a huge support and great friend to me for the last 18months, he will always be an important person in my life. I'm confused by my feelings for him. I did love him when I was with him and although devastated when he ended things, I thought I'd got over it. I suppose the renewed sexual relationship has reawakened my feelings.

The thing is, it doesn't matter how you feel about him, it's unlikely you will get what you want, as he's already left you once due to not wanting to be committed, and is now keeping his distance by not discussing the future and making sure you aren't together all the time. So, you don't really need to work out how you feel, and if you are sensible, you'll thank him for the last few weeks of fun and put this behind you. You are already getting hurt again, so clearly no strings is not going to work for you two.