am i right to feel upset?

[misdee]

i havent been able to get to harefield regularly since around november. we have had chickenpox, colds, ear infections, tummy bugs, puking, etc etc. dh wrote on a site he uses that 's cant be arsed to come in' i pulled him up on that as i felt upset that he thought like that. MIL has put on another site that 's hasnt been in with the kids for ages'. no explanation as to why i havent. i feel like i am being portrayed as an uncaring wife. feeling a bit upsert by this. please tell me i am being unreasonable.

I can see why you feel hurt hun, its not that you dont WANT to be there, its the circumstances that are preventing it.

What did P say when you pulled him up on his comment? Have you told him what MIL has put? I think you need to sit and talk to them both and explain that it isnt because you dont want to be there, but you are looknig out for him by not bringing the girls in when they are ill.

its not just the kids tho, its me as well. i have been ill the last week, woke up this morning at 4am to be sick. i got there yesterday and was meant to be there this morning. even if things are bad i get in at least onece a week.

You went last week though so you do go as regular as you can.

Obviously your whole situation is a very emotional one and it must be hard on the whole family.

exactly, i want to be there more than anything, really i do, and yet i cant be. i dont like leaving the kids when they are ill with babysitters. i left dd1 with PIL last weekend when i went to visit, and they said she was really really ill.

i havent told him when MIL put, as i have only just seen it. it was when dd2+3 had chicken pox.

he is overreacting becasue he is bored and wants you around. Why don't you start writing to him, kids draw pictures, send little lovve notes? At least he will feel thought of when you are not around. As for your mil, tellher to p off!

awwww hun, is there anyway MIL could take the kids in for you if you dont feel well enough? I really hope things pick up soon, I guess P is feeling quite lonely and saying things that he doesnt really mean, he knows you do what you can, and get there when you can, but you know what its like when you are poorly, you want all the sympathy 24/7.

Chin up hun, it WILL get better, this is the year for you guys xxxx

we do do that beetroot.

MIL have all the kids? no. she cant cope with them all lol.

My parents are having them on tuesday as we are attempting a trip out of the hospital and it'll be easier kid free.

Lots of snotty sqeezies from me and the toad sweetie!
My take on this is that the old fart(!) is a little frustrated at being at everyone's mercy. It's not like he can get up and come to you is it? He's just trying to express his frustration albeit in a clumsy, hurtful way.
Nothing to say about the MIL. I don't know her or your relationship with her.

he probably is. he did apologuise for his post, and thats that i guess. it does hurt tho. think people forget i have 3 little uns to look after as well.

you have prob thought of this, but does his hospital have lap tops for the patients to borrow? i used to work in a hospital and they used to loan the long term kids lap tops, then you could speak on messenger every nite, and use a webcam?

i bought him a laptop and 3g card. but its expensive.

I don't know how you do what you do misdee - I know you have no choice - but I understand why you feel betrayed. You have three small girls and they need some stability too and you're juggling the whole thing. He's being unreasonable but he probably feels it's only happening to him - you can get like that in hospital.

Deep breaths - AGAIN - and ignore and rise above all the comments. You know you're doing a great job - we all know it, they're losing sight of the bigger picture of your life but you can't blame them in a way but knocking each other now isn't helping anyone.

Rise above it, do what you can and what you think is right. Keep strong misdee and talk to P and explain it from your side. He might need reminding how hard it is looking after three kids!