I am really struggling at the moment and feel like I can't cope. It is a long story. I met my partner 4 years ago and we have a 3 year old son. We were living in his flat that he owned when we found out I was pregnant. I wanted to either stay in the flat or private rent as I was worried we couldn't afford to buy a house. I was very young when I met him and he is 8 years older andlikes things to be done his way. He rented his flat and then we bought a house.
Throughout our relationship my partner has drank 12 cas of beer every night while I sit alone upstairs in my bedroom every night. I suffered with SPD badly when I was pregnant and don't have any family nearby so I found it very isolating. He did not help me when the baby was born and continued to drink. I had a very good job but I ended up losing it after my son was born due to severe postnantal depression. This meant we could not keep up the mortgage repayments and our house was reposessed. He then persuaded me to do an iva which failed because he could not keep up the mortgage payments on his flat which was then also reposessed.
We now pivate rent a house. I feel so unhappy as he persuaded me to move to a remote town where his familily live as he said I would get more support from his family. I cannot drive, have no money and his family never see me or my son. I am not entitled to benefits as I live with my parter who gets a good wage but he doesn't give me any money and spends sos much an alcohol and cigarettes. I have no freinds here and my family live in Leeds.
I went to the citizen's advice beureu who I am now going to work with. My partner is determined that the only way to go is down the bankruptcy route. He wants me to do hat he wants not the citizen's advice. I am so worried as I know that when he gets made bankrupt they will take most of his wage so he is even less likely to give me any money. I don't know how I am going to cope.
I also feel so overwhelmed with all the housework and caring for my son as he gives me no help at all. He drinks and then makes himself a massive meal at midnight and leaves it for me to clean up the next morning.
I have started a college course to try and help with my depression as it makes me leave the house every day. I can't cope when every now and again when he runs out of money or feels a twinge of guilt he says he is stopping drinking. The problem is is that he is like a different person when he doesn't drink, he takes it out on me and I walk on egg shells. I feel i've completely lost my independence as I an totally reliant on him and have to ask his permission for everything.
I used to have a good job and be independent and self reliant before I met him.
His family and friends think he is amazing and such a fantastic man but they don't know what he's really like. His son adores him and craves his attention.
He found the house that we privately rent and stupidly I moved into it without even looking at it. the gargen is so bad and dangerous that my son can't play in it. We spent last summer not being able to go outside apart from to the park. He won't do any work to it as he has got a hernia caused by him putting on 5 stone since I met him. He won't do anything to lose weight or even make a doctors appointment about his hernia.
I want to leave and applied to the council for housing but was awarded 0 points. I want to leave but I don't want to hurt him as despite everything he is a good man and i know he loves me and my son. He says if i ever left it would destroy his life. I also don't know if i've got the courage and bottle to do it. I feel so alone and scared of the future. I want to leave but I don't want to take my son away from his father and I do really love him.