Advice for cousin on child maintenance

[julienoshoes]

I've posted this in Divorce/Separation, but then realised this section gets more traffic.

I'm supporting my lovely cousin through a painful separation with her child's father.

She moved in with him, into the house he shares with a friend when she found out she was pregnant.
It was a very difficult birth and my cousin found it very traumatic. She does have self confidence issues after having a damaged relationship with her father.

The relationship fell apart towards the end of her (paid) maternity leave and he went away for some 'space' (you know what's coming don't you?)

He came back and begged her to start again and then a couple of weeks later asked her to leave as 'it's not working'
She left with the baby and moved back in with her mother and step father. That's where they are living now.

Turns out (of course) there was another woman (with child from previous relationship) all along.
OW is now pregnant and ExP has now reduced my cousins money by £75.

He says if she goes to CSA she will be £70 worse off again?
He said today that my cousin is using the money towards a deposit towards house, not on the baby!!

At the moment all communication is going through me, to help her maintain no contact to help her get over him, and I do want to help, but am not sure what to say and do next?
When I have seen them together, he does make belittling, controlling comments to her and about her.

advice welcome

go to www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/calculator.asp and work it out.
then go to CSA to make it official

a house would be suitable spending if it provides accomodation fo her and child - but she should not rely on his money to get mortgage etc. (unless he stonking rich...)

and if there is contact with the child she needs to try and start dialogie about financial and child matter very factually etc by email - taking all emotions out of it.

oh and tell her to get some counselling or attend a workshop etc
eg www.drw.org.uk also some gp practices can refer to specific counsellign services for separated people

If she goes through the CSA she is entitled to 15% of his pay after tax, NI and pension contributions are deducted. If he is living with the OW his payments will go down 15% once the child is born.

How she uses the maintenance money is none of his business.

Use the calculator above. What she spends the maintenance on is of no concern to him.

However, he does have a right to reduce support once the other child is born, again the calculator will show you those figures.