does it ever get easier

[lostlilly]

want so much just to be happy but feel pretty hopeless about my marriage. Clearly we are both fond of eachother and have a lot of history and a fairly nice lifestyle but we just seem so far apart Im not sure its retrievable. Does anyone else feel like you are living with a good old friend that you wouldnt want to lose but you dont want to 'be' with anymore

IF there's no hostility or contempt or pissed offness then it's probably temporary/retrievable. How old are the kids?

There's a lot to be said for a good old friend to live with. x

Are you bored?

bored, underwhelmed, tempted, and considering I got a grand total of a pair of slippers in the wrong size for christmas after over ten years together I think he is feeling the same! we get along okay, I think the world of him and he is a good dad but we seem to have less and less in common, I wouldnt even know HOW to have sex with him its been so long, he doesnt show any inspiration or romance at all and although he assures me he loves me I get more affection from my dog! but I just wonder if this is it? if so...how depressing

It doesn't have to be. Can you find a new way to be together? All relationships have the potential to get stuck in a rut. DH and I play scrabble together sometimes instead of doing things in separate rooms or jsut watching TV. It sounds so mundane written down, but we laugh and chat and connect in a totally different way. There are simple things you can do to find a route to a new way of being. Maybe relate? Talk through the rut.

yes totally understand xx

Gawd. Not even friends really is it? Sounds deadly. Talk! Talk talk talk!

Are you me. Put a thread on here the other night because I feel like I've 'checked out' of my marriage already.
My DH is nice enough, but I keep thinking 'Is this it for the rest of my life?'
Don't know what to say, but depressingly, you're not alone.