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Original poster

would it bother you

49 replies

StarRose · 27/02/2012 21:40

if your DP text two other women on the 14th Feb to wish them 'Happy Valentines Day x'

I'm feeling a little funny about it but don't know if I'm just over reacting.

OP posts:
ashamednamechanger · 27/02/2012 22:16

mmm, sounds a lot like mine....needs to have his ego stroked and wants to know "he's still got it"/
Sad!

Original poster
StarRose · 01/03/2012 09:59

I asked him about it last night. It seemed like he was avoiding the issue to start with (they're just friends, what's the problem) and then said it's because there's something missing in our relationship, that I'm not sexy enough and he's always dated sexy women before, that he needs sexy. Flirting with other women is his way of getting that.

OP posts:
janelikesjam · 01/03/2012 10:01

How did you feel when he said that to you?

AgathaFusty · 01/03/2012 10:03

How utterly disrespectful.

malinkey · 01/03/2012 10:12

I think this man is not worthy of you.

pictish · 01/03/2012 10:13

I think he's a dick.

Original poster
StarRose · 01/03/2012 10:14

I felt horrible. But it also confirmed what I already thought. We don't have a great relationship anyway, and he's always wanted me to be/act/dress differently. Not sure where we can go from this.

OP posts:
CatPower · 01/03/2012 10:21

He sounds like an immature gobshite. If texting women and making them feel uncomfortable is what he calls sexy, then you're better off a million miles away.

malinkey · 01/03/2012 10:22

I'd leave him to his 'sexy' women personally. You deserve so much more.

HedleyLamarr · 01/03/2012 10:31

Looking at this he's auditioning for a replacement Sad. Sying you're not sexy is utterly twatworthy.

He wants you to be/act/dress differently? What an arsepiece. Get rid, he ain't worthy of your time. Angry

pictish · 01/03/2012 10:33

He's also a creep...texting women and being a pest.

Sorry - that sounds so harsh, I know - but truly, I wouldn't want to be with a letch.

AgathaFusty · 01/03/2012 10:48

He is a massive creepy creep

fiventhree · 01/03/2012 10:57

Please do NOT let this affect your confidence level.

There is nothing at all wrong with you.

What counts as sexy anyway is different for different people, isnt it?

HellonHeels · 01/03/2012 11:08

What a creep he is. I have no time for men who try to re-make their partners in dress/behaviour. It's not you - it's him!

Leave him to find his 'sexy woman' (yeah, errr good luck with that) You can do so much better than this.

Original poster
StarRose · 01/03/2012 11:27

Yeah, it would be interesting to see how many of these sexy women would take on him and all his shit. I'm the longest relationship he's had and I've put up with a whole lot.

It's funny that over the course of the last 2 years I've been constantly accused of messaging other men (which I haven't) and it turns out that he's the one that can't leave it alone. I always believed that accusations reflect what that person is doing, but I chose to ignore it as I was 'in love' and thought I could trust him. Turns out I was right all along.

OP posts:
AgathaFusty · 01/03/2012 11:39

So, what are you going to do next?

Hattytown · 01/03/2012 11:43

Well yes you were right all along. The women he texts also pity you. Hence one of them deflecting it back on to him and urging him to treat you properly. Some wonder whether you're blissfully unaware of what a creep he is and some will assume you know and must have low self-esteem putting up with him. Hopefully one of them will one day stop thinking that women have to be 'nice' to sex pests and will tell him to fuck off and leave her alone.

That's the reality of this man. He's a sexist creep who thinks that women exist solely for his sexual pleasure. He is deeply inadequate though.

You know what you've got to do, don't you?

MissKeithLemon · 01/03/2012 11:51

From my experience, when your partner makes weirdly unfounded accusations it means they are up to whatever it is themselves....

Original poster
StarRose · 01/03/2012 17:20

I'm not sure I continue with this. He hasn't apologised, just made excuses and shifted the blame on me (something that happens all too often). Even if he promised me he won't do it again (which he hasn't) I would constantly be thinking that every time we have a falling out or disagreement he'll be off chatting up whoever to make himself feel better. It might not be cheating, but it still hurts, and I can't help thinking that it could lead to him messing around. And if he did, that would probably be my fault too.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 01/03/2012 18:35

So, are you dumping him then ?

or sticking with someone who treats you like shit ?

izzyizin · 01/03/2012 19:33

And if he did, that would probably be my fault too.

And if he did that, it would be entirely his own fault for not being able to keep his dick in his trousers.

But you've got more self-respect than to stay with this self-entitled twat and subject yourself to worrying that he's pursuing other women everytime you fail to kiss his arse please him, haven't you?

Original poster
StarRose · 02/03/2012 14:10

I know it wouldn't really be my fault, but he just seems to have this way of turning everything around to make it that way.

I wish things were different. He can be so loving and kind and attentive, and yet at other times cold and so very difficult. I'm torn between wanting to have nothing more to do with him and wanting us to make it work.

Stupid really but I keep thinking what a waste of 2 years and what if I never meet anyone else. But then I know I'd rather be single than on edge all the time.

Oh how I'd love to have a nice easy straightforward relationship!

OP posts:
Pornyissue · 02/03/2012 15:00

Finding these texts was the best thing to happen to you as it confirms what a massive twat he is

You can do better, let him have fun with his sexy women

who clearly aren't interested anyway. He can have fun with him and his hand from now on whilst you find yourself a fabulous new life

mojitomania · 02/03/2012 15:28

It's time to throw him away isn't it OP.

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