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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stag do

9 replies

Santa70 · 27/02/2012 17:31

Boyfriend of 6 months was away on a stag do this weekend. I?d kind of buried my head in the sand about what they might get up to. Wasnt bothered about strippers, because I knew the group would be going, and I could hardly expect him to sit outside with a coke and a bag of crisps.

Pretty much left him to it, got a text from his sat morning but otherwise didn?t hear from him. I was enjoying my weekend until I woke up on Sunday morning and saw that he had a new Face book friend ? added at 5am!! It was a girl local to the area where the stag do was.

I was pretty upset because although I knew they weren?t going to be boy scouts for the weekend, I didn?t expect him to be chatting up woman and adding them on his Face book page. The girl was very attractive, probably out of his league to be honest(!), and seemed to have a boyfriend from her FB pics.

I asked him and he said the girl had asked him to take some group pictures and he had added her on Facebook to exchange the pictures. She hadn?t accepted his friends request until 5am and he maintains he was sleeping by then.
I?m now pretty pissed off and giving him a hard time. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
maleview70 · 27/02/2012 17:49

I wouldn't worry too much about this. Lads chatting girls up on stag do's can also be phrased as "pissed up idiot annoying girls".....I would just let it drop but keep and eye on it from afar and make sure no other signs. In isolation I would say its no big deal. Lads can be idiots on stag do"s that's for sure!

bluebell8782 · 27/02/2012 17:57

Hi..my husband did the same..came back from a stag do with a new
Facebook friend..all that had happened was she'd taken some group photos of all the boys from her camera and as he was the mmain one looking after the groom he exchanged details so she could send photos on later.

Don't give him a hard time about it unless he's given you reason to not be trustworthy in the past?

bluebell8782 · 27/02/2012 18:01

Hi..my husband did the same..came back from a stag do with a new
Facebook friend..all that had happened was she'd taken some group photos of all the boys from her camera and as he was the mmain one looking after the groom he exchanged details so she could send photos on later.

Don't give him a hard time about it unless he's given you reason to not be trustworthy in the past?

Hattytown · 27/02/2012 18:04

Christ you've got low expectations of men and your partner in particular. Why don't you question why men feel the necessity to use the sex trade on a weekend away? Why don't you have an expectation that your partner will stand apart from his awful mates and say he doesn't want to finance the nasty culture of strip clubs and its abuse of women?

Why do you want to 'put your head in the sand' instead of stating your boundaries? It's obvious you don't entirely trust him and with good reason by the sounds of things.

bluebell8782 · 27/02/2012 18:04

Sorry about the double message..I'm on a bus and it's all bumpy!

squeakytoy · 27/02/2012 18:07

I agree with Bluebell. It is a perfectly plausible excuse, and if he is telling the truth then the pictures should be there to be seen pretty soon too.

Santa70 · 27/02/2012 19:50

He later said he deleted the photos because said girl couldnt accept his friend request immediately as she had no phone signal. She accepted it at 5am, but he said he had deleted the photos by then.

Thanks for the views folks.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/02/2012 20:29

hmmm.. that sounds a bit less likely, and odd... but it is still plausible I suppose..

vincettenoir · 28/02/2012 08:18

I would be a bit pissed off too but it's probably nothing to worry about. If something untoward had gone on it would be unlikely he would add her as a Facebook friend

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