Should I have alarm bells or am I just so out of practice??

[DatingSausage]

I went on a date for the first time in years the other day with somebody I met on POF. We get on great online & have lots in common so that all looks good. I'm not physically attracted to him but I don't find him repulsive either so i'm willing to give it a few dates. Anyway, how forward would you expect a guy to be when saying goodbye on a first date? I was expecting a friendly hug & maybe a kiss on the cheek but it felt like he couldn't wait to get his hands on me. He didn't grope me but held me very close around the waist & didn't really want to let go, then he went in for a kiss. I think he may have been after a full on tongues job but I wasn't up for that on a first date so I gave him a nice gentle kiss.

Am I stuck in the dark ages or is he being being a little pushy? Please help me out as i've been single for 3 years without so much as a kiss or a cuddle. I've been too busy having my youngest & struggling to bring him up on my own. Have only just felt human enough to think about dating

Hmm, well, I think it's important that you feel able to say what you want and feel in control - even if it's just "easy,tiger" and detach his hands from your waist. If he gets huffy or won't let go, then you have a problem and I wouldn't see him again.

Don't worry whether you're in the dark ages or anything about how you should act - you need to be comfortable and if you have niggles about him, trust your instincts.

Should you see him again, I'd continue to do public dates until you are more sure about him. But if you continue to have warning bells, don't override them.

it's ok to want what you want, but i can't help wondering IF and thats a big if, you fancied him more you might want to be more kissy with him generally?

I wouldn't like it if someone assumed i wanted to snog them though iyswim. I have found that i don't judge people looks wise as much as i did when first single. My taste has changed too, so thats ok, but i would really have to find their personality overwhelmingly attractive to 'go there'. Wel done going, i have been single 7 yrs now and am dying to get back in there, but i t all seems so so hard now.

Very true, you might have been quite happy with what he did had you fancied him.

Yes, I think thats right, if I really fancied him then I think I would have been right in there, especially as i've been starved of affection for so long. My body did actually respond during our little clinch but that could just be the novelty of being held at all!

I am going to meet up with him again in the week when I have a babysitter but I'll make sure its at a public place that has a car park so he only walks me out of the door. If he gets over affectionate i'll make a light hearted comment & see what response I get. I really want him not to be a creep as on paper we are a great match, but thats right about the alarm bells, I mustn't ignore them.