Help! Confused and feeling alone

[Memom]

First time i've done this so please be patient.

I am totally confused, i feel i have lost me - don't even know who 'me' is anymore and don't know what i feel about anything.

I have a 10 week old baby, 2 teenagers and a wonderful hubby but don't know if i want to be here anymore. The grass seems greener everywhere but here but what confuses me is i don't know why.

I have it all, but feel i have nothing to give and don't feel i am worthy of what i have, i know i have everything but feel empty.

Sorry this is not making sense, i just want to run away :(

Help me please. Perhaps i just need a good talking to!

Have you seen your doctor? Sounds like Post natal depression. Which is chemical rather than based on your situation. Go ask for help, big hugs x

Yes, I would have a chat with your midwife and gp, sounds like it could well be PND. Tackle that first and hang in there. See how you feel once this really tough period with a brand-new baby starts to get easier - don't make any life-changing decisions right now.

I spoke to GP at 6 week check and she just basically said 'yeah it is hard with a new baby' so i guess she doesn't think PND is an issue.

HV doesn't seem to want to know, i've called several times and she doesn't call back.

Maybe i just need to get on with it as my mum would say.

No no, if the HV and midwife haven't been helpful, go to your gp. You're being fobbed off. You are now four weeks on from that check-up, it's important that you get support now - if it is PND, you can slide much further and find it a much longer process to recovery if you struggle on on your own for too long.

Your GP and HV have been crap so far. But go to your GP and sit there until someone takes you seriously, maybe take a print out of you first post, as it shows clearly that you need help. These people may also be able to help
It will get better, but do get help.

Sorry, I misread. Go back to your gp or perhaps try a different one at the practice.

Have your GP or HV done this test with you? www.testandcalc.com/etc/tests/edin.asp
take it now!

my HV did it with me every postnatal appointment for months. Your GP and HV sound useless. Be objective if you can, you've already said you feel dreadful but there's no particular reason why (apart from the fact you're a new mum). Doesn't that sound like PND to you objectively

Saw another doc yesterday afternoon and she went through a check list of symptoms and although was lovely about it said she thinks i am just struggling to cope with the change of routine etc.

Thank you for your replies :)

Are you getting to go out? going to Mother and Baby groups? They aren't really for the babies but for the mothers. Forget the house, but make sure you meet people, get out and can share how you feel honestly.
I do suspect that you put on a good show at the doctors, and don't really want to bother anyone.

But whatever you do, make time for you, you have MNs permission to be selfish sometimes if only to watch trashy TV or paint your nails.

After reading your replies over and over last night i spoke to hubby - he had no idea how i was feeling and thought i was coping.

Many hours of tears later i slept better than i have for months, and woke this morning feeling like a weight has been lifted.

I don't go to Mother and Baby groups as i am really shy but am really going to try to join one. We are going to do more things together rather than me trying to be supermum too.

Thank you all xx :)

If you feel really shy, do try to phone first, if the group has really good leaders they will go out of their way to make you feel welcome.
I'm glad you got some sleep. It is so lovely when you do.