I'm not sure, but I thijk we're done..

[JarethTheGoblinKing]

Things have been strained with DP for a while now. Nothing specific - work pressures, normal day-to-day stuff. We don't talk any more, we're constantly sniping at each other. I'm not happy, not at all, but I'm petrified of what happens next. How on earth does it work? There is no other woman, no abuse, no control issues. I just don't like him anymore and I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel happy with me anymore.

I'm so sad. We have a 4yo. I can't imagine uprooting his entire life just because I'm a bit miserable. It seems so unfair.

I just don't know what to do

Well.. after a couple of days of not eating, ridiculous stress levels and no sleep, DP surprisingly feels very very ill and was worrying about fast heart rate and feeling panicky. He thought he was going to have a heart attack or something :(

I (very nicely) pointed out that perhaps eating some food and getting some sleep would make him feel a lot better, so nice healthy meal and a good nights sleep later and he is feeling OK now, but has said he will ring the GP.... so something good has come out of this at least.

We have had another night of sniping, but am starting to recognise a patter/triggers for it, so reckon if we work on those it will help initially.

TTC plans have gone out the window for the moment. The pressure of it all was too much, and while it's possibly not the best plan to delay it we can't get pregnant at the moment, it's just a terrible idea.

Bloody hell, he's booked an appointment with the GP

Good luck - Hot Burrito speaks sense. It has to be a 2 way thing, but that also means you have to recognise your role. x

It's difficult when you're being shouted at because he's come home in a foul mood though. I feel like i have to stand my ground and not back down or he'll take the piss and start treating me like shit (this is nothing to do with the way he has treated me in the past, more of my own issues I suppose).

He knows exactly how unhappy I am. I'm not the sort to assume he's a mind reader and knows what's going on. I have been very upfront about everything.

Don't engage if he's a grumpy arse. Respond when he speaks nicely. Hope the Doc is useful.

Tell the doctor that he's very depressed but that he will deny it. That way you're giving the heads up and the doctor won't accept easy answers.

Imperial - I'm not sure it would be appropriate of me to talk to his GP? I don't know.. besides, the appt is early tomorrow so there is no time. I have thought about this though - I've suggested he take a list of things that he take with him to talk to the GP about (so he doesn't forget anything). I think they scream depression/anxiety without DP actually saying that that's what he's worried about.

All I can say, Jareth, that I was in that exact situation and did speak to the doctor (face to face.) I told him that my husband was depressed and told him his family history of depression. I said that we were at the point of divorce because of his depression.

He agreed that if my husband (ex now) made an appointment, he would talk things through with him. My husband did make an appointment, very reluctantly, and felt a hundred times better after speaking to the doctor.

Your husband's depression is having a serious effect on your life. Of course it's appropriate to talk to a doctor about it.

You can call the doctor's first thing and ask the receptionist to pass on a message for you.

Thank you Imperial, that's helpful

How are you and your husband now?

Oh sorry, missed the ex bit :(

Well, one of the reasons he was depressed was because he was leading a double life. Or triple, at times. Which I found out about, so it was curtains for him.

He's now depressed and living with one of the original culprits - she's furious with him because he's always depressed.

Oh dear, was my response