The Accidental Adulterer..................."My wife doesnt understand me" and other married man tales.................................

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Talking to a friend. She is being pursued (she is married) by a guy who is attached.

He has told her:

"She doesnt understand me"
"She is so cold towards me/shows me no affection"
"We have had sex in X number of months"
"When we have sex she just lays there and does nothing"
"She is abusive to me"
"It looks like we will be breaking up"

Im sure there are other classic lines, i cant remember them all.....

Isnt that classic affair seeking behaviour?
I dont get how people fall for this crap. (She hasnt btw).

Hmm, i do wonder whether they are really kidding themselves more than kidding the person they are pursuing - to justify it to themselves rather than to "woo".

Oh, oh, me!! A friend of mine went out w/a married fella. Here is some of the BS he told her:

-We (the wife and he) don't have sex anymore
-I sleep in the spare room/a recliner/a cupboard, etc.
-She gained 5 stone since our marriage - we drove to his house and knocked on his door when we knew he wouldn't be there. We pretended we were looking for a house party. If she gained 5 st she must have been a wisp of smoke when he married her.
-I'm only staying till the kids [finish primary/secondary school, uni, etc]

ive met some idiots in my time too. some classic attempts at chat up lines:

"we have separated but im sleeping on the couch, actually i was going to look for my own place tommorrow."

"she doesnt like the same things as me, i like walks in the country, shes sooooo materialistic, she spends all my money."

"we were only young and foolish when we got together."

"she's sleeping with everyone, her friends told me."

"i want to leave but feel guilty, what about the children?"

"she's very violent towards me."

"she doesnt understand me."

"we have no sex life."

priceless.

ive had that, i always tell them that i thik its spineless to be fcking another woman whilst in a relationship. theres no answer for that. of course i make sure i get bought the drink before i say it.

of course

NO excuse. If he's that keen, he can finish his mariage first!!!! Otherwise, he can sod off, the dirty adulterous piece of crap

I think I would find a man speaking about 'his wife/mother of his children' in such way quite a turn off. Although I assume that the ones that fall for that rubish are the ones that already like the man and are just looking for some excuses to avoid feeling guilty for accepting his advances.

That the poor man is sleeping on the coach??? FGS there's people sleeping in the streets and that doesn't justify the heroic act of offering them sex to comfort them. Besides... it sounds as if they were only looking for sex anyway (probably far too obvious?)

I had an involvement with a married man once. He didn't say any of this crap. Well, he did say he was incapable of fancying women over 30, but he certainly didn't blame his wife for the fact he was a slut.

(I was 17, I was silly.)

I have had married colleagues say this sort of thing to me, presumably trying to entangled. It's ludicrous, such a cliche.

i'm gettting old and jaded about this sort of thing - i am SURE there is an instructional website entitled "Smooth Lines for the Cheating Bastard"

they use the same lines over and over again - I'm sleeping in the spare room always cracks me up - when you meet a man who is actually separating from his wife and children, the man is usually so distraught about it that he is not looking at another relationship yet

Oh, when I was a teenager, a boyfriend's aunt had a very long-term affair, like decades-long, with a judge.

He had three kids.

He told her that he'd married his wife because she was pregnant, and he'd only slept with her once per child since then.

And she believed him!

It is the gulibility of the women that always amazes me!

Still, I suppose the first time a bloke uses one of these lines with most women they say 'Yer, right, and I can see a flying pig over there' they go away to find someone with fewer working brain cells!

my SIL fell for this line -
my wife hasn't been paying me any attention since she got pregnant...
the cure for which, of course, would be to shack up with a young attentive woman from the office
and she had the bare faced cheek to repeat it to me - who had just given birth....
luckily he went back to his wife before we had to meet the twonk
I have more respect for the outright philanderers myself. I find it particularly loathsome when a person blames their partner for their inability to keep their pants on

I totally agree, hc (he). There's no way I would have had an entanglement with a married man who was spinning me a line about not being understood etc. (I say entangelement, because "affair" seems much to dignified and serious for such a thing.)

"we're not happy"
this was my husband's reason

"we're more like brother & sister"
that was HER excuse about her husband

for our marriage, he was right but instead of trying to address the issue, he started having an affair which made him cold & distant to me so of course we became even unhappier....

I just dont understand people - if you're not happy get out the relationship b4 starting another one

Oooh a girl I used to work with tried to convince me that her sleeping with a married guy was ok because "they don't love each other and she never has sex with him".... She never quite explained how the wife (who clearly wasn't sleeping with him) managed to fall pregnant a few months later

How can any man think that any woman worth knowing is going to fall for any of this crap? It just amazes me.

Ahhh, are you not confusing "worth knowing" with "willing to sleep with them"?

Oh....I suppose they are the sort of men that will do anything with a pulse. Ugh. I find male promiscuity VERY unattractive I'm afraid.

.

Funny how things like marriage or long term partners can slip a man's mind...

To be fair, I can see that someone (male or female) can stay in a stale relationship, then find the necessary propulsion to leave when they meet someone else they fall in love with (not that I'm condoning the dissolution of the marital state...). However, having been in this position (i.e. single but in love with a man in a relationship, who I had known for years, but who I didn't know was in a relationship when we met up again after a gap), I would never have considered starting anything while he was with her. I couldn't bear the thought of not being able to look another woman in the eye - so our relationship was distant and chaste until they had separated.

A work colleague found out that a man she was seeing was married and when she confronted him with outrage, he said 'Well I didn't think you'd want to go out with me if you knew...' Yeah - NO SH*T!

.