Need somewhere to talk - think DP is cheating or going to cheat

[Singlemummy2be]

I know I shouldnt have done it but I check DP's accounts FB/Email etc as he's been acting very odd the past week. Well I wish I hadnt as I'd found some rather flirty messages from him to his co-worker and from her to him!

I dont think its gone past flirting at the moment, but in my eyes thats cheating enough.

He doesnt know I suspect anything yet, im getting everything in place to leave but as we haev a young child and he has a child from a previous relationship its not overly easy to just up and leave.

Is there anything I need to think about whilst planning to leave?

Are you not planning confront him before you leave?

Financial documents- wage slip with proof of his earnings. If you're planning to go through CSA for maintenance, this is a useful check if they mess up. If a private arrangement, you can make sure he doesn't diddle you.

Photos, passports - all valuable stuff you need to take with you, really.

Is the house his then? If it's both of yours, he should be the one leaving - but it sounds complicated with the step-child so maybe yes you leaving is the way which gives you the most control.

Would it not be better to have a chat about it first?

Whoa, has he done this before?

Aside from the practical things that TheCrunch and I'm sure others will offer you, I think you should consider how you really feel about him and about your relationship. Be honest with yourself, it's easy to sit any stew and work up hatred and loathing for him over your anger at him for being disloyal (if that's indeed all it is so far).

Try to set aside this particular thing he has done and look at the whole picture, have there been other things?

I suppose what I am saying is give yourself time to think about you and your relationship and your family, and how you picture your future with or without him.

{{{hug}}}

sorry you're having such a shitty time.

How will you feel if he suddenly realises he's been crossing a line with this week-long flirtation, pulls back from it and re-commits to your relationship? Relieved, or disappointed?

I'm with the others... is this all that has happened? If it is, it's not great but seems something strange to leave over... we can all get a little flirty sometimes and then regret it.

Has he got a track record of infidelity? What is the rest of your relationship like? Don't do something in anger that you might really regret later.

The acting odd means he is withdrawing from your relationship (and reality) and focusing on OW (and the excitement fantasy and possibility of knob action)

You need to talk to him about it, tell him he would be making a huge mistake and giving him a consequence if he chooses to do this...

but don't bank on being heard.

By this time, he has decided YOU are the problem.