Absolutely and utterly terrified of being naked.

[Flanelle]

I didn't think I was, but I am. I'm dating someone I really like and find very attractive but considering not seeing him any more because I just don't think I can take it to the next level. Been separated 18 months or so and left myself a good long time before I even looked for a date, and I think I'm ready for a relationship in all ways but one.

I suddenly see that in this one area - the area of body confidence - that I have not only low confidence but no confidence at all.

It's almost 20 years since I slept with anyone other than my not very nice stbxh. I was lovely then, but my body is destroyed by children, weight gain and loss, and time, and my confidence in it is shattered.

How do you go from feeling like Quasimodo's less attractive sister to having the uninhibited, fulfilling sex life you always dreamed could be possible?

Reader, I shagged him.

Good for you!

And DO remember, the most unsexy thing in the world to a man is a woman who draws notice and expresses anxiety about her imperfections.

If you act as though you thing you look great, he will believe that you do. And he probably thought so anyway.

(She says, size 14, wobbly stomached, aged 50, herself!)

The only time it's worth mentioning any kind of imperfection would be if it's something that looks, well, infectious. It's fair enough for someone to be a bit deterred if you undress and display what looks like a raging case of herpes, even if it is only an allergic reaction to a back-street vajazzle.

Oh and nothing like that ever happened to me. Not ever.

This may be worth looking at. But I think you may have got over it Was it fun?

flanelle! :) good for you! well done! :)

Flanelle , a mans view, although not automatically typical. My DW has had a mastectomy and had previously lost a lot of weight leading to some loose skin and a vanishing butt. In our 50s it is inevitable that we aren`t the toned teenagers anymore. Our bodies tell our life story and are one part of what makes us a human being. Have the conversations and certainly follow the advice on here re nice lingerie for confidence. A man who loves you should love all of you, whatever size or shape you are.

The hair loss and absence of a boob don`t make my DW any less attractive to me. I am not the same as when I was 20 so why should I expect my DW to be ????

Good luck with it all and do enjoy it

I asked DH about this a little while ago, theoretically, when discussing whether to have kids. I asked him whether he would still find me attractive if I never lost the weight, if I had an apron tummy after a c-section, and if I weed myself whenever I sneezed. He looked confused, and said "but you would be naked, right? I still get to touch a naked lady?"

He didn't understand the point. We went into it in a bit more depth (I was a bit bewildered that he didn't see the point), and he still didn't get why I might think he would not want me any more (physically). It genuinely doesn't bother him. Once they get to nakidity (if there is such a word) they are excited about what is to come (so to speak!) and really don't worry about the same things that women tend to.

T'was epic shagging. Got lovely messages today and he also sent me this :-

Safe to say all is well :-)

Great

Well done OP, glad it was good!

Warlock: that post is lovely.